


Something More Than This

by DiNovia



Category: Xena: Warrior Princess
Genre: Attempted Rape/Non-Con, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-17
Updated: 2015-07-17
Packaged: 2018-04-09 20:18:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 30,718
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4362797
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DiNovia/pseuds/DiNovia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>(Author's first fanfiction piece, published in 1997)<br/>An innkeeper's sister in Galasia welcomes an ex-warlord and her injured companion to her brother's inn, causing all sorts of confusion and opening her tiny town to attack.  When the dust has settled, more than one life will change forever.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> STANDARD DISCLAIMER: Xena, Gabrielle, et al are property of Renaissance Pictures, MCA, Universal and whoever else has the legal documentation to back up their claim. No infringement is intended. They are borrowed only.
> 
> CONTENT DISCLAIMER: This story contains scenes of love between two consenting adult women, with graphic sexual content. Also, seeing as one of the women is a sword-wielding ex-warlord and the other is a staff-wielding Amazon Queen, it is safe to say there will be violence in this story, although not violence against each other. (Didn't we have enough of that at the beginning of Bitter Suite?)
> 
> Also, this particular Xenaverse does not acknowledge the third or fourth season, meaning there was never any rift, any lies, any Hope, and--although not in this story--Callisto and Solon are still alive.
> 
> STYLE DISCLAIMER: Told in a mix of first person (OC, Taren of Galasia) and third person. OC is a Mary-Sue. This is the first piece of published fanfiction I ever wrote and I wrote it around 1997. Please take that into consideration with any criticism you might wish to share with me.
> 
> LOCATION DISCLAIMER: This story's home has long been Passion & Perfection (www.ralst.com). I am archiving it here largely for personal convenience. I will always be a fan of Rachel and P&P. She's been there for me for many, many years.

  **Part I**

That morning began like every other: A candlemark's drudgework in the inn followed by a half-mark trek to my favorite hunting spot, a sturdy tree in who's branches I could wait out those indigo times just before first light breaks across the sky. 

What was I waiting for in that tree? Well, mostly I waited for the bread dough to rise in the stone bowls back at the inn or for the morning's catch to wander by, unaware of me and my bow hidden in the clean-smelling leaves. I also waited for something spectacular, something truly wonderful and strange that would break the spell of utter boredom bewitching my life. 

Who could have foreseen it would come on so ordinary a morning? 

I heard them before I saw them. The gentle crash of an over-weighted horse through thickets and the tones of a quiet conversation announced their presence. When they entered the meadow and I finally saw them clearly, my breath caught in my chest. 

Two women rode a golden mare. But these were no ordinary women. 

One of the women, smaller, with hair the color of fall wheat in the late afternoon, sat forward in the saddle. The other-may the gods spare me-the other was the most magnificent creature I had ever laid eyes on. Tall, wearing armor and leather, with a river of inky hair cascading down her back, she looked alert and battle-ready even with the fair one settled against her. A sword's hilt kept watch over her shoulder and I could see the tension in her muscles, the readiness to pounce on an enemy should one attack. 

She protected the small one. That much was evident. A closer look showed me the fatigue in the small one and a pallor unnatural to her. I soon noticed the stained bandages wrapped around her chest and shoulder, revealing the cause. 

They stopped in the meadow, the magnificent mare with the corn silk mane answering her mistress' nudge. The dark one tipped her head back and took a deep breath of the cool morning air. The fair one stirred, opened her eyes, and whispered something that made the dark one smile and curl her head back down for a conspiratorial reply.

 A more fanciful woman than I might have mistook this pair for the Goddess of the Hunt complete with consort, a wounded fawn saved from certain death. I, however, have always been practical. And I have always been utterly sure that no god or goddess would ever take the time to appear to me, a lowly innkeeper's apprentice in the small village of Galasia. 

Another nudge from the dark one started the mare down the path leading to the village. At their pace, it would take them a candlemark or more to reach the inn. Me? Less than half that if I ran. There was only one inn in Galasia and my brother, Pirro, owned it. He would never give a room to these two. With any help from the Fates, Pirro would still be sleeping off last night's rum when I got home.

 

* * *

 

_"Are you sure I'm not hurting you, Xena?" asked the bard for the fourth time. Xena grinned. True, it was very unusual for Gabrielle to ride in front like this and yes, the warrior had had to make several adjustments to accommodate the change. But no, the bard wasn't hurting her. If anything, having the bard cradled against her like this was driving her crazy with the desire to nuzzle her honeyed hair and…_

_Xena pulled her mind out of that little daydream like a hand from the fire. Better not go there, she thought with a sad frown. Okay, she admitted quietly to herself, maybe it did hurt a little, but not in the way the bard thought it did._

_"For the last time, Gabrielle, you are not hurting me," she whispered, scanning the forest with her huntress eyes. Although they had not encountered any trouble in almost a fortnight, when the warrior had taken on fifty men of varying levels of skill in what could only be called an ambush, Xena was still wary. Gabrielle had been injured in that little grudge match and Xena wasn't eager to repeat that again so soon. She tightened her grip around the bard's body just enough to reassure herself that her precious cargo was safe._

_"Good," replied the bard. "Because you sure are comfortable. Explain to me why I've never ridden this way before?"_

_Xena swallowed her real answer and growled playfully instead. "Because I knew if I let you ride this way once, you'd want to ride everywhere. And then Argo would stop speaking to me."_

_Gabrielle chuckled. "Oh, ha ha."_

_"You don't believe me? Ask her."_

_Argo ignored the quiet banter taking place on her back and continued lazily along the path her mistress had set her on. When she rounded a blind bend into a small meadow, she answered her mistress's nudge and came to a gentle stop. Xena looked around, the hairs on her arms standing at full attention. She tipped her head back and took a deep breath of the still morning air._

_"We're being watched, aren't we?" came Gabrielle's soft question. She felt the increased tension in the muscles underneath her and knew there could only be one cause._

_Xena smiled and curled her head down to whisper in the bard's ear. "Yes. Where?" She never passed up an opportunity to strengthen Gabrielle's skills._

_"The only place that makes sense. The big tree at the northern end. She can see the path coming and going and the leaves of that one provide the best cover." Gabrielle also knew-by the fact that Xena had not drawn her sword or chakram-that they were in no immediate danger._

_"And how do you know it is a woman?"_

_"Because she hasn't fallen out yet," grinned Gabrielle. Xena laughed and nudged Argo. The mare began her slow trek through the forest again._

 

* * *

 

I was already back downstairs setting water on the fire for tea when I heard the heavy footfalls on the porch. I smiled a little self-satisfied smile. Everything was ready for our royal guests. Oh, I knew they weren't really royalty, but that's how I was going to treat them. That was all that mattered. 

The door opened and the smile melted off my face. In the warmth of the blazing fire, I found myself looking into eyes so blue they startled me. Suddenly I was struck dumb as to what to call her. Lord? Lady? Sir? Something told me any or all of those titles might find me on the pointy end of her sword. 

"Can I help you?" I asked from behind the bar. 

The dark one's eyes regarded me suspiciously for only a moment before her mask of indifference returned. 

"Need a room," she said. "Have any?" 

_Just one?_ I thought. _Interesting_. I came around the bar to wipe down a table or two. 

"Aye," I said nonchalantly. "How long are you needing it for?" I looked past her shoulder out to where the mare sat patiently in the road. The fair one slumped slightly in the saddle, protecting her wounds, but her sharp, moss-hued eyes tracked the dark one's every move. Looking past the injured woman, I noticed a small group of villagers-mostly men-eyeing my guests apprehensively. 

"A week maybe," she said. Then, also noticing the ever-growing gaggle of ogling townsfolk, their postures defensive and hostile, she added, "Maybe not." 

I walked out onto the porch, smiling at the injured woman in silent greeting. Looking into the crowd, I spotted the man I sought. 

"Something you all need, Takis?" I called. 

He stepped forward. "Not this morning, Taren. You?" His question was pointed and his gaze swept from me to the warrior and back with deceptive leisure. 

"Well, I could always use a thousand dinars, but which of us couldn't?" 

Nervous laughter rippled through the crowd and several people drifted off, apparently more at ease. I didn't blame them for their mistrust. This woman looked like she could be a vicious warlord running from the law or worse. In fact, I had no knowledge otherwise except a gut feeling that neither she nor her wounded companion would bring harm to us. 

"Aye," said the barrel-chested man, smiling widely. He knew me well enough to know I was in no danger. "Well, I'll leave you to your boarders, then." 

"See you." 

Takis waved and set off down the dusty road for his smithy. A few stragglers with deep frowns tried to stop him, angrily pointing in my direction, but Takis dispersed them easily. I knew I could count on him. Even though I had turned him down for marriage seven times he was still a good and wise friend. 

I turned back to the warrior. "The room is cheaper for a week. Ten dinars instead of fourteen, stable included. Would you like to check the room? See if it suits your needs?" 

"And if it doesn't? The next village is two days ride from here." 

"You have a point," I laughed. 

The fair one suddenly began to cough and the warrior's eyes darted to her, filling with concern. 

"Is there a healer in this town?" 

"She's away. Went to Typhonaea to help with her sister's first baby." I glanced at the small one, her fit lessening. "I heal some and I have enough herbs on hand to mix up a good green-mold poultice for her wounds. We should get her off that mare and into bed soon." 

The warrior nodded and took five dinars from a pouch on her belt. 

"If we stay a week, you'll get the other five when we leave." 

"Fair enough. Let me settle the lady upstairs and get started on that poultice. You can take your mount to our stables. No one will bother her there." I jerked my head to where three men still stood watching. "They know better." 

"Thanks," she said, moving to the lady's side to help her from the saddle. "Come on, Gabrielle," she said softly. "Time to get you into bed." 

Gabrielle grimaced as she slid into the warrior's waiting arms. "It hurts, Xena," she whispered. 

_Xena._ The name hit me like a rock between the eyes. _The Destroyer of Nations. The most vicious warlord the world had ever known. And I had just given her a room. May the gods protect us._

I didn't know it just then, but the weave on the fabric of my life had begun to change.

 

* * *

 

"She's not like that anymore, you know," said Gabrielle as I helped her up the stairs. "And you don't need to help me. I can manage." She leaned on a staff that was too battle-scarred to be a cane. 

"You're wounded and you're a guest of this village's finest inn. It's all part of the service. As for the other, it's none of my business." 

"I saw the men watching us. And I saw your face when I said her name. She's not a warlord anymore. She helps people now. People who can't help themselves." 

"Like you?" The question popped out of my mouth before I could stop it. Green eyes flashed indignantly at the remark. 

"She may have rescued me from slavers two years ago but I've been travelling with her ever since. I can take care of myself! And I take care of her just fine!'' She stumbled as we neared the door to their room and I noticed a fresh red stain seeping through her bandages.

"It looks like _you_ need caring for now," I said grimly, pushing open the door and helping her inside. We had only taken a few steps toward the bed when she stopped, gaping at the room with incredulous eyes. She took it all in, from the fire in the large fireplace to the fresh flowers on the table in the corner. I had been very busy this morning. 

"Is the room not to your liking?" 

"No, no," she said. "It's fine. It's just-I mean-I can't remember the last time we had a room this big." I helped her to the edge of the wide feather bed and she brushed her hand across the blankets, smiling for the first time since I had seen her. Her smile completely ensorcelled me. It was bright and pure, like morning sunlight dipped in fresh cream. 

"In fact, I can't remember the last time I slept in a bed." She looked up at me rather sheepishly, adding, "We usually make camp in the forest or sleep in stables." 

"Sounds better than an old inn." I smiled, thinking how wonderful it would be to travel all over the world and not be bound to anyone or anything. 

"Don't you like being an innkeeper?" 

"Not especially. Too dull. Never many customers except around the big festivals. But it's not like I have a choice, is it?" 

"What do you mean?" 

"I'm apprenticed to my brother. He owns the inn. He says I owe him because I refuse to marry like the other girls. If he can't get a dowry out of me, he might as well get work out of me. It's a fair arrangement." 

"Fair, huh?" she asked, not sounding at all sure. Before I could respond, she gripped her side in obvious pain. 

"We need to get you into bed, M'Lady," I said, dropping their saddlebags over the back of a chair. I bent to help her with the laces of her boots. 

"What did you just call me?" 

"Pardon, M'Lady?" 

"M'Lady. That was it. Cut that out. I'm not a lady. I'm just a bard." The woman was clearly irritated. 

I turned the blankets down and settled her back against the freshly stuffed pillows. 

"A lady isn't always born of regal parents." I smiled despite the deep furrowing of her brow. 

"Well, my father is just a shepherd from Poteidaia, so you can call me Gabrielle." 

"Whatever you say, Lady Gabrielle. Do you have a mind to eat? I have some wonderful broth on downstairs and the bread should be done any minute. I can bring you up a tray when I bring the new poultice for your wounds." 

The mention of food distracted her from my formalities and she nodded enthusiastically, sighing, "I almost forgot about breakfast. I hardly ever do that." Then she realized what I had called her. "I said call me Gab-" 

I escaped the room before she could finish the protest.

 

* * *

 

A half-mark later Pirro made his first appearance of the day as I was putting the finishing touches on the tray. He shuffled into the kitchen growling like a disturbed bear, surprised to find his breakfast ready and waiting for him. He sat down heavily in his chair, holding his savagely throbbing head in his hands. 

"What time is it?" he croaked, holding a cool mug to his head for relief before downing its contents in two gulps. 

"It's still morning, if that's what you're asking. Everything's been done. Even the firewood, so you're off the hook for today." 

He squinted at me, his frown consuming his entire face. 

"Who's that for?" he asked, gesturing with a hunk of bread at the tray I was fixing. 

"If you'd been up when you were supposed to be instead of sleeping off a cask of rum, you'd know we have boarders." 

Just then, Xena thumped through the door. I caught her eye and said, "I'll be up with some food and the poultice shortly. I've got the lady settled in upstairs, last room at the end of the hall." 

She nodded. "Thanks." Her bootfalls as she climbed the stairs thundered in the silence that followed her exit. I could feel Pirro's rage like heat from the fire. 

"What in Zeus' name do you think you're doing, girl?! Givin' a room to her kind?!" He slammed his mug on the table and got up. "Well, I'll have none of it, do you hear? I'm going up there and tellin' them to be on their way-" 

The clank of three dinars on the table stopped him in his tracks. 

"What's this?" he demanded. 

"It's what she paid for the first night, Pir, so just leave off! She's got a wounded girl with her that can't be moved and I'll be roasted on a spit before I ask them to go!" 

He picked up the dinars, fingering them suspiciously until he was convinced they were real. 

"How long are they stayin'?" 

"Maybe a week." 

I watched as he added up the profits in his head. He grumbled something about how the dinars were probably stolen and sat back down to his breakfast. I was inclined to agree about the stolen part, especially since the eleven dinars I would be contributing to the bill would be donated from Pirro's own pocket. The thought almost made me laugh out loud. Somehow I knew that wouldn't be a wise course of action. 

"All right, they can stay," he conceded. "Only I don't want any trouble, Taren. Trouble from them will mean trouble for you, do you understand?" 

"I understand." I knew he meant it. He could throw me out or worse if he had a mind to. But as I carried the tray up to Xena's room, I suddenly didn't care what happened to me as long as it was new and different. 

Their door opened before I had a chance to knock. 

"Is the room suitable?" I asked the warrior as I placed the tray on the table. 

She swung a cool gaze around the room as if noticing it for the first time. 

"It'll do," she deadpanned, but I could see she was impressed. 

"Good," I grinned. "Now, I've brought breakfast for you both, but perhaps we should change the lady's bandages first." 

"See? She keeps calling me that!" 

"What?" 

_"Lady!"_ said Gabrielle, completely exasperated. "Make her stop, Xena!" 

One of the warrior's eyebrows arched curiously. 

"Why don't you curtsy for her?" she asked, grabbing an apple from the breakfast tray and crunching into it. "She'll stop." 

"Hey!" 

Xena smirked and took another bite of her apple. 

"This is some sort of conspiracy. I know it," grumbled Gabrielle.

I held the fresh poultice up questioningly. "Lady?" I asked, barely able to contain my mischievous smile. The bard rolled her eyes, but obediently loosened her top and the soiled bandages and allowed me to do my work. 

She had two angry wounds, one in the fleshy part of her left shoulder and one below it, in her underarm. The size of the wounds and their proximity to one another told only one story: crossbow bolts. Sometime within the past moon, some spineless dog had aimed and fired a crossbow with steel-tipped bolts at this beautiful woman for reasons that could only be evil. I was instantly seized with the desire to hunt the man down and rip his heart out through his throat. The emotion startled me with its intensity and I forced it away with a sharp mental shove. 

"Were the bolts poisoned?" I asked quietly. 

Gabrielle froze beneath my hands and her eyes darted nervously to Xena's. The warrior took a protective step closer to us. 

"I… _found_ the antidote." Xena's tone was emotionless but her sky-blue eyes had sharpened to cobalt and she was a notch or two more alert. I was acutely aware that I had just crossed a line. I imagined how she had 'found' the antidote. Every scenario I imagined ended with bloodshed. 

"You've seen this type of wound before?" Although Gabrielle, too, was more alert, I could tell she was naturally more trusting than Xena. After all, she was no warlord. 

"When I was little, a renegade war party sacked Typhonaea. A boy with a wound just like this escaped and ran all the way here to warn us, somehow keeping ahead of the soldiers. I remember how his back looked-two diamond-shaped wounds not more than a hand apart, one lower and to the right of the other. The skin at the edges bubbled and turned black from the poison. He died shortly after he delivered his warning. My brother told me what made the wounds." 

"And your village?" Gabrielle's voice was soft with concern. Genuine sorrow for the dead boy flooded her eyes. 

"We had warning enough to get the women and children into hiding. Tall, sturdy trees are no match for drunken raiders in heavy armor. A few of our men died and some of our homes burned. My father lost an eye. It could have been much worse if not for Lidio. We have a festival every year to honor him." I pulled Gabrielle's new bandages tight, but she didn't seem to notice. She seemed lost in her own world. 

"Uh oh," said Xena, apparently recognizing the behavior. "She's doing the bard thing." 

"It's a terrific story, Xena! You'll see. That is," she said, looking up at me with hopeful eyes, "if you'll give me permission to write it down." 

"Only if you perform it downstairs when you're feeling better. This inn hasn't had a proper bard in it since before I was born." 

"And only," added Xena, carrying the breakfast tray over to her friend, "if you eat first. You need your strength." Somehow, I knew that the tenderness I saw in the warrior's eyes was a rare thing and reserved for the bard alone. I suddenly felt like an intruder. 

"Deal?" I asked, smiling. Both women turned, one guarded and one grinning. 

"Deal," said Gabrielle. 

"I'll let you settle in then. Yell if you need anything. A bath can be brought up for you if you wish, no extra charge, and there's a basket outside your door for any washing or mending you may have." 

Gabrielle looked from me to Xena and back again with wide, unbelieving eyes. 

"You do washing and mending??" she squeaked. 

"I said you were guests of this village's finest inn, didn't I? It's all part of the service." I turned to leave, finding myself escorted by the warrior. I chuckled when I heard Gabrielle's whispered "Wow. Mending too." I stopped at the threshold and turned back to Xena, all seriousness returning. "She's a bit feverish," I whispered. "Do you have the herbs for-" 

"I have them," she said. "Do you serve port here?" 

I nodded. "Sure." 

"I'll be down later. I don't want her disturbed," she said, indicating the bard who was now rummaging through her scroll sack and munching on some fresh bread at the same time. "She needs her rest." 

"Understood." I stood at my full height, almost as tall as Xena, and walked purposefully away. I understood, all right. The ex-warlord didn't trust me…yet.

 

* * *

 

_Xena closed the door behind the innkeeper and turned to see Gabrielle discard the half-eaten slice of bread she'd just been munching on. A worried frown creased her brow and she walked over to the bard._

_"Not hungry?" she asked quietly._

_Gabrielle had intended to lie and tell the warrior that she was just savoring the meal, but one look in those worried blue eyes made her change her mind._

_"I thought I was but when I started eating…" She sighed in weak frustration and dropped her head onto the pillows behind her._

_Xena immediately knelt next to the bed, laying her cool hand on Gabrielle's warm forehead. She strung a wild list of innovative curses together that surely would have shocked the bard if she'd said them out loud. As it was, Gabrielle caught the slight tightening of her lips and the deepening of her frown._

_"My fever's back, isn't it?"_

_Xena nodded slowly._

_"I thought so," continued the bard, closing her eyes in a moment of self-indulgence. "My head feels like it's been stuffed with wool and honeybees."_

_Xena's lingering hand moved to cup Gabrielle's cheek and she turned the bard's face towards her own, waiting for her to look at her. When she did, she almost gasped aloud at the openness and trust that shone from those beautiful jade eyes. It startled her, like it always did. Startled her and more… She quickly pulled her hand away from the bard's face and said in a low monotone, "You'll have to have more of that herb mixture you didn't like."_

_Gabrielle nodded and made no protest…and if Xena hadn't been worried before, she surely was now. Gabrielle always complained about Xena's "foul-tasting concoctions". Always. She cursed again while rummaging through the saddlebags for her healing kit and this time Gabrielle heard it._

_"I'm sorry, Xena," she whispered, watching Xena mix the herbs with a practiced hand and then dump them in a mug, pouring steaming tea over them. A pungent smell filled the room._

_"About what?" asked Xena, delivering the mug to the bard. She helped her take the first sip, privately adoring the way Gabrielle's nose wrinkled up with the taste._

_"I know we can't afford this room or being stuck here for a week or-"_

_Xena put two fingers across babbling lips, ignoring for the moment the tingles traveling up and down her arm as a result._

_" **I** can't afford to have a sick Amazon Queen on my hands," she admonished gently. "Ephiny would skin me alive if she thought I wasn't taking proper care of you."_

_That thought made Gabrielle giggle. "Yeah, right! Even if you were blind and one-legged, Ephiny couldn't catch you!"_

_Xena chuckled. "True," she agreed. Then her face suddenly went quite serious. "But no more about not being able to afford this. I don't give a damn about the money or the time. Got it?" She gently gripped the bard's arm and shook, trying to drive the point home. She needn't have, for Gabrielle had already wound the words tightly into her memory, holding them to savor later._

_"I got it."_

_The warrior nodded and then released her grip. "Good. Now finish that," she said, indicating the cooling mug of herbed tea._

_"Okay." Gabrielle stared into the brown liquid and sighed, then obediently tipped more of it into her mouth._

_"Yllaaargh!" Her face screwed up dramatically. "Gods Xena, do you scrape this stuff off the bottom of river rocks or what?"_

_"Gabrielle…"_

_"I know, I know. I'm finishing it, see?" She took another sip. "Ew, ew, ew," she added._

_Xena just chuckled, settling into one of the high-backed chairs with her sword across her knees, running the whetstone down the blade with a rhythm that never deviated. When she looked up much later, she found Gabrielle asleep, the mug hanging dangerously from her limp hand. Xena quickly put aside her sword and snatched the bit of earthenware up before it hit the floor, grinning victoriously to herself. Timing is everything, she thought._

_Then she looked at Gabrielle sleeping comfortably in the wide bed and realized how very true those words were. Like any knife-juggler in the agora, Xena had manipulated timing many, many times in her life. To give her the advantage in battle or in negotiations, to save her own life or end another's. But that moment-the one that had led her directly into the path of one brave, fearless little bard fighting off slavers at the river near her home-she couldn't take credit for that. No, that had been pure, unadulterated, Fates-tinged luck. And timing **was** everything, she realized, because the merest untamed sliver of it had brought this beautiful woman into her life._

_She tucked the blanket around Gabrielle and sat on the edge of the bed, for once giving her hand leave to caress the bard's face at will._

_"Get better soon, my bard," she whispered, thinking she liked the possessive sound of that more than she should._

 

* * *

 

That evening, as shadows crawled across the wood-plank floor and the red ribbons of light in the sky competed with the bright dance of the hearth fire for my attention, Xena came down from her room. I stood at the bar, wiping out the last of the mugs from the mid-day "crowd"-if you could call eight customers a crowd. I reached for a clean mug and a cask of port and set them both in front of me with a decidedly cool thump. It was an invitation. 

"Evening," said the warrior, taking the invitation and sitting stiffly on the bar stool. 

"Yes," I agreed, glancing out the window. "How's the lady?" I asked casually. Despite her mistrust of me, I could see laughter in her blue-upon-blue eyes. 

"She'll be fine. She doesn't like when you call her that," she offered. She poured herself a mug of port and took a long draw of it. 

"I know." We regarded each other for a moment. Xena measured me to standards ingrained in her from her warlord days while I wondered just exactly what it would be like to walk in her boots for a day. Finally making some sort of decision, Xena spoke. 

"You were in the tree. Northern end of the meadow." It was not a question. She _knew_. 

"But how-" 

"You use a very distinctive soap. Mint and thyme." 

I am ashamed to admit it now, but I gawked at Xena. Flat out, bug-eyed gawked. 

"Any good with that longbow?" she added, her gaze falling to the callused fingers of my right hand. The stories I had heard about this woman had not been exaggerated; she did have _many_ skills. And by the way her eyes sparkled, she obviously enjoyed using them to throw people off balance. I was no exception. 

"Fair," I said, forcing myself to regain some semblance of composure. "Throwing knife, too." 

A crooked, quizzical grin broke the tension between us. "I don't frighten you." Almost a question. Not quite. 

"No. I have waited my whole life for something wonderful to happen. Didn't expect it to be today, but wonderful doesn't always send a warning before it walks into your life, does it?" 

I would have missed her imperceptible glance at the ceiling if I had blinked. "No, it doesn't." Was her voice softer? Was that longing in her eyes? 

The moment passed. 

"Is that the reason for the 'service' we get here?" 

I hesitated. "What do you mean?" I feigned as much innocence as I could muster. 

"I mean my mother's an innkeeper in Amphipolis and she wouldn't do my wash or mending even if I asked on my knees." Her grin was infectious. 

I had a hard time envisioning the warlord on her knees asking for anything. I laughed, in fact. 

"Like I said, it's all part of the service. And speaking of service, dinner will be ready in about a candlemark. Shall I bring up a tray?" 

Xena nodded, laying two dinars on the bar. Before I could protest, she put up her hand. "Take it." The tone said she would brook no arguments from me on this. "I'll be back soon. Just want to take a look around." She downed the last of her port and walked out into the twilight, heading for the stables. 

I watched her go, wondering how it had happened that this once feared destroyer of entire nations had found the humanity inside herself. Then I remembered the woman upstairs and I understood. Gabrielle could lead Cerebrus out of Tartarus and teach him to fetch, if she wanted. I knew that much already. One battered warlord would hardly be a challenge at all.

 

* * *

 

_Gabrielle woke to long shadows and the orange glow of sunset on the bare walls of the room. She was momentarily disoriented and caught herself looking for childhood mementos she had no doubt her mother still kept in her long-unused room in Poteidaia. Finally her gaze fell on the healing kit sitting neatly on the table with the little mug she had drunk the potent tea from sitting next to it. She wondered idly how it had gotten all the way over there. The answer soon washed over her, a warm ache that made her happy and sad at the same time._

_Xena, of course._

_She looked around the darkening room and felt silly for thinking the warrior would still be there, watching over her._

_Not her style, she reminded herself. Although she grudgingly admitted she'd liked the small gestures and the extra attention she'd been getting. And Gabrielle's heart knew these little extras were the result of a long-overdue thaw on the warrior's part, something she'd been noticing for a while now. She grinned then immediately frowned, noticing with distaste that her mouth felt sticky and hot._

_Guess I still have a fever, she thought as she stumbled out of the bed and padded over to the water jar. She poured herself a big mugful and drank it down, noting happily that her head didn't feel as fuzzy as before. She poured another mugful and trotted back over to the bed, setting the mug on the bedside table and crawling back into the wide bed with a sigh of luxurious abandon. She could think of only one thing that would make the bed even better…and she immediately blushed with the thought._

_"Knock that off, Bard," she chided herself as she reached for the water, hoping it would cool down her heated face. "You are wishing your heart away." A familiar sadness stole its way onto her face. "She makes it really hard NOT to, though," she sighed._

_She thought briefly about working on the story of Lidio and the heroic deeds that saved this little village, but she remembered she really didn't have enough information to start that story yet. She decided to wait until she could talk with the innkeeper again. She smiled to herself, thinking of Taren and wondering how Xena felt when another strong-willed woman came down with Warrior Princess Haze. At least Taren was tamer than Minya had been. They almost hadn't survived Minya's hospitality._

_I wish every innkeeper came down with Warrior Princess Haze, she thought wistfully. Maybe we'd get rooms like this more often._

_She snuggled under the blankets for a long, guilty moment then pushed them off with a grunt. Slug, she thought. Nobody likes a slug. Gotta do something productive._

_She felt like writing but the scrolls looked heavy and boring. Then her face brightened with a mischievous smile and she rooted around in the bottom of her scroll sack for the perfect diversion. It was just a little something, really. Evenly cut squares of parchment sewed on one edge and bound with leather. Gabrielle ran her fingers lovingly over the leather, which had once been a piece of Xena's battlewear before it became irreparable and was donated to this little project._

_She wasn't supposed to know that._

_She grinned._

_Silly warrior, she thought. I would know the feel and scent of it even if I were blind and dumb and had no hands._

_She'd found the bundle tucked into her bedroll one night not long after… Here her mind stumbled as it always did. She forced herself back through the thought reluctantly. She'd found it not long after Xena died. There. She took a deep breath to calm her racing heart, swerving off that path of memories and back to the little book._

_Xena had been off checking the perimeter of their camp and Gabrielle had been getting ready to crawl into her bedroll, knowing that she would wake sometime in the night to feel Xena sleeping close to her. She'd discovered the warrior's new sleeping arrangements after a particularly harrowing nightmare one night. Although far enough away to be deemed respectable, Xena had begun to place her bedroll close enough to Gabrielle to be able to reach her with a healthy stretch. Which made Gabrielle feel cared for and for which she eagerly awaited every night. But on this particular night, she'd gotten more than she bargained for._

_She'd opened the bedroll near the fire and saw the rich chestnut tones of leather in the firelight. She'd reached down wonderingly and picked up the bundle, noting the G carefully embossed on the cover. She'd opened it up and stared at the neat little note printed on the first leaf of parchment._

**For the stories you never tell-the ones with you in them. X**

_The bard smiled with the memory of that moment and opened her journal to the first page, reading the little note again. Then she found a clean page, dipped her quill in some lovely dark ink, and began to write…_

 

* * *

The crowd that night-despite the village's growing curiosity about my guests-was small enough that the neighbor girl, Annis, could serve by herself. She often helped out around the inn when she wished to escape the torture of her five younger siblings. Serving adults who could speak in complete sentences (most of the time, anyway) and who usually didn't throw food at one another seemed quiet in comparison to her home. I always appreciated the help, especially when Pirro disappeared every day after the mid-day meal to get drunk and gamble with his friends. 

Xena had still not returned from her ride so I decided to make up their supper tray and take it upstairs anyway. I knew if Gabrielle were awake, she would be hungry. She hadn't eaten much of her mid-day meal. 

I slipped silently into their room. One candle flickered next to the bed and I could see Gabrielle was still asleep. I put the tray on the table and moved closer to the bard to see if her condition had improved any. I was startled to see a fine sheen to her skin. Her fever had worsened. I started out of the room to fetch some catnip and feverfew tea that I kept for especially for fever, but a frightened whimper stopped me in my tracks. I turned to see Gabrielle struggling with her blankets, her whimpers growing into desperate murmurs and then into a low keening that made my heart ache. 

"No…NO! Don't leave me! How could you?" Her fierce whisper made me wonder if she was only having a nightmare or if she was awake and in the clutches of some fever-vision. She swung her head blindly back and forth. Nightmare, I decided. No doubt made worse by her fevered brain. 

I crept closer to the sobbing bard. I didn't know who had left her but I was determined to see her through this horrible dream without waking her or causing her more fear. I sat at the edge of her bed, careful not to disturb the quill and the parchment in her lap. In the dim light, I could just make out the bard's graceful handwriting and the words distracted me from my original intent. 

**And when her eyes opened, and I fell into the Summer Sea I saw there, I knew I had fallen in love…**

Could it be? There was only one set of eyes I knew that matched that description… Were they really in love? 

_Well, it makes sense,_ I thought. _Two women, one room…and the warrior's protective streak…_

My heart began to race as if I had just run to Typhonaea and back and something that had been sleeping inside me began to awaken. 

_Maybe that would explain…_

Takis' last proposal, at the spring festival, had been a painful one. The resigned look of disappointment in his eyes as I told him no for the seventh time had nearly brought me to tears. And then his soft question… 

_"Why do you hate me so?"_

And I tried to explain it, my tongue thick and stupid. I tried to tell him he wasn't the problem, that I didn't hate him. Tried to tell him he was a wonderful man, a good provider, a kind soul… 

His obvious confusion asked the question he dared not voice and I just sat there. I couldn't tell him that whenever I thought of marriage my chest closed up and my throat burned and I felt like I was drowning. I couldn't tell him how ashamed I was to be so different from all the other girls in the village who had been choosing and discarding potential husbands for themselves since they could braid their own hair. I couldn't tell him that somehow the gods had shaped me wrong, leaving me without that passion. I couldn't tell him it was all my fault. Instead I ran off, mumbling something about him deserving a better wife than I could ever be. 

But this tiny glimpse into Gabrielle's life gave spark to tinder that had long lay dormant within me. I picked up the leather-bound book before I knew what I was doing, wanting to read more, but Gabrielle's cries reminded me why I was there. Caring more for her well-being, I closed the book and reached for her, finally managing to cup her face in my hands. 

"Shhh… I'm right here, little one. I haven't gone anywhere. You're safe. I haven't left you." I continued to whisper those words over and over. My mind swam with questions and wondering and half-formed truths about myself. Between the chaos in my head and trying to calm Gabrielle, I did not notice the sound of the door opening nor the warlord standing in the doorway. I have no idea how long she stood there, watching. 

"Get away from her." Xena's voice was low and hard with the promise of endless pain unless her demand was met. I have no idea why I didn't obey her that very instant, but I didn't. 

"Xena-" 

" _Now_." Her low growl terrified me. I snatched my hands away from the bard's face and backed away from the bed, my eyes never leaving the frozen glitter of Xena's murderous gaze. She countered my movements with cat-like grace, putting herself between the bard and me, ready to pounce if I made any sudden movements. We stood there, locked in the moment as if we'd been painted into some strange tableau. I started to say something-anything-to explain but she spoke first. 

"Leave." 

"Xena?" The bard's confused whisper startled both the warrior and myself. "What is it?" Her hair clung to her face in soaked ringlets and her eyes were fever-dulled. 

I turned and fled, barely hearing Xena's whisper of "It's nothing, Gabrielle." I ran down the stairs and past Annis and the startled customers. I ran out into the street and past the stables. Past Takis' smithy, past the tannery, past the edge of the village. I didn't stop running until I reached the tree in the meadow- _my_ tree-and I flung my arms around it and clung to it with all my might. 

It wasn't fear that had driven me there, nor sorrow, nor pain. It was envy, sharp and deadly. My heart hammered in my chest and my blood rushed with the force of ten waterfalls in my head. I stared out into the darkness, my breathing heavy. How much would I have given to be Xena at that moment in time? The answer, even now, frightens me.

 

* * *

 

_It was maddening._

_Xena rested a palm against Gabrielle's cheek and sighed in relief. It was cool…for now. But Xena knew the fever could rear itself again at any moment and that drove her crazy because she knew her limitations against this kind of enemy. Before, when the poison was still the biggest danger, it was only a matter of Gabrielle waking up…or not. And somehow that ordeal had been easier than this maddening back and forth dance with infection and fever._

_She remembered sitting through those nights, listening to shallow breathing and her own heartbeat for candlemarks on end, waiting for Gabrielle to wake up or… She drew in a shaky breath._

_Maybe 'easier' isn't the right word, she admitted. Because that was far from easy, my bard. I couldn't bear you leaving and I couldn't tell you why to stay, even though my heart rehearsed the words over and over…_

_The warrior shook her head to scatter those haunting thoughts._

_Gabrielle woke up, she told herself firmly, refusing to be ensnared by visions that hadn't come to pass. She gazed quietly at Gabrielle and sighed. At least the fever had broken again and the bard was sleeping comfortably._

_Xena stretched to ease muscles cramped from sitting in a damn uncomfortable chair all night. Then she crossed to the window, looking out at the starless indigo sky and the darkened village._

_No point in sleeping this close to dawn, she thought. And she knew a little fresh air would quietly disperse the wire-taut tension in her that was making her head ache. She shuttered the window against the cool morning and tucked Gabrielle's blanket under her chin. One last shadowed gaze from the doorway and she was out of the room and slipping down the stairs, only to find the younger serving girl-Annis, was it?-sleeping at a table near the hearth._

_She took a hesitant step towards the girl, a careless creak of the floorboards giving her presence away. The girl's head rose, her eyes barely open._

_"Taren?" she whispered._

_"No," said Xena, her body hidden in the shadows. Her pale eyes and her armor glittered in the dying firelight. "Go back to sleep."_

_The girl mumbled softly and let her head drop onto her arm again. Xena frowned deeply. She threw a few logs onto the fire, stoking it to a blaze for the girl, then stalked out of the inn._

_The knowledge that Taren was out there somewhere, alone and afraid, brought a sneer to her lips. All the anger and menace that she had carefully shelved while tending to Gabrielle came back in an instant. She drew in a long, lazy pull of the spicy night air, feeling a surge of evil delight ooze through her body. And with the dark emotion came another unfamiliar one that the warrior didn't recognize._

_Serves her right, she thought, pushing the biting and unfamiliar emotion away. The kid should learn to keep her hands to herself._

_She chuckled for a moment, thinking of the pathetic innkeeper who was too friendly and too helpful. Whose compassion and openness and trusting nature made her weak, an easy target, just like--_

_The black humor the warrior found in Taren's personality suddenly dissolved under the harsh glare of one obvious fact: the same things she considered weaknesses in Taren she valued as strengths in Gabrielle. In fact, she had always believed those traits to be essential to Gabrielle's very being._

_Xena puzzled over that for the briefest of times until she realized-with a start-that perhaps the unfamiliar emotion hiding behind the fangs of her anger was envy._

_No, she decided. It wasn't that. But her mind stole back to the forbidden thought until she had no choice but to face it head on._

_Okay, then why? She challenged her mind to show her something that would explain why she, an ex-warlord who had once commanded armies and riches and kings, would envy an innocuous, good-hearted, fearless nobody of an innkeeper…who had just been comforting her wounded and feverish friend in a way she never could._

_Dazed, Xena hesitantly probed the truth of it. She was envious of Taren._

_And why not? Taren was everything she wasn't…honorable, good-hearted, passionate, devoted. She came by her goodness naturally, and why shouldn't she? She didn't have the blood of thousands on her hands or the weight of so much evil and guilt upon her shoulders._

_Taren was someone whom parents could be proud of, whom children could look up to, whom any village would be glad to call "one of our own." And Taren was someone deserving of Gabrielle's friendship in ways Xena knew she wasn't and never had been._

_Xena's shoulders slumped in the darkened street._

_"I've just proven what a monster I am," she said quietly. She had terrorized a woman simply for doing the one thing that she herself ached to do, for reaching out to Gabrielle in pure, unguarded love. It wasn't Taren's fault her heart was unfettered and unhidden. It wasn't Taren's fault she could risk so much so easily. And it certainly wasn't Taren's fault Xena had never spoken of her true feelings for the bard, which were far deeper than friendship and were hidden behind a leaden door inside her heart to which there was no key._

_Pain, bright and hot, seeped into the warrior's chest. She had seen the ease in which the bard and the girl had become friends. In shorter time than it had taken her to stable and care for Argo, the two had settled into a comfortable banter that had put Xena on edge._

_If Gabrielle's friendship could be won so quickly, what was to say her heart couldn't be won just as quickly? And if so, wasn't it telling that she and the bard had only just begun feeling comfortable with the odd hug and the occasional teasing remark? And finally, in the long run, who was the more deserving woman?_

_Xena already knew the answer to that question. Totally and irrevocably. And that made any further arguments her heart might have made moot and pointless._

_With a face as emotionless as stone, Xena walked down the vacant road and out of the village._

 

* * *

 

I wandered back into the village at first light. I had stayed with my tree all night. I couldn't remember if I slept. I couldn't remember much of what I did, actually. All I knew was that I had more questions than I did when I went out there and not a single answer. I felt empty. I wanted…something. 

I shuddered when I saw the rugged, weather-grayed building I called home, a chill creeping under my skin. It was a dark hole in the gray light, a burden, a duty… 

_I want…I want something more than this,_ I thought numbly. 

As I passed the stables, I noticed Xena's horse was not there. A momentary panic that they had left clutched my heart. It faded when I remembered Gabrielle was in no condition to travel, not even the two-day journey to Typhonaea. I quickened my step anyway. 

I found Annis asleep at one of the tables near the hearth and smiled sadly down at her. _Silly girl._ I nudged her awake. "Annis?" 

Annis' fawn-colored eyes snapped open and she lifted her head from the table, marks left by the rough wood blemishing her fair skin. 

"Taren? Are you okay?" 

"I'm fine. You go on upstairs now and get some proper sleep. Pick any room you like." 

She shook her head and yawned, rubbing her eyes. "Unh-unh," she said, as another yawn twisted her face. "Give me two blinks and a sip of water and I will help you get the morning meal started." She unwound her chestnut hair and re-braided it with the graceful ease of someone who had been braiding hair for years. As the oldest of six children-five of them girls-I had no doubt that Annis spent most of her mornings doing just that. 

"Annis, you need to sleep-" 

"Please, Taren?" Her plea halted my protest. Looking into her wide eyes, full of longing and admiration, I suddenly understood what Annis was really saying. 

_I want to be useful to you in some way. Please don't send me away right now. I want to be near you._

"All right," I relented. "Go draw the water for tea, then." 

The girl-almost a woman, really-bounded out into the kitchen to fetch the water jar. I could have sworn she was humming as she left for the well. 

She had a crush on me. That much was plain now. A headstrong young woman, a loner, a favorite with the boys of the village but who rarely showed them any favor… She reminded me of myself. I wondered why I hadn't seen it before. I also wondered if that explained the newfound feelings I had for Gabrielle…a simple crush? I doubted it. It was more than that. It was deeper and less…defined. 

Too tired to think anymore, I shuffled into the kitchen to see what I could scare up for a decent meal. We didn't have much and I had obviously not been on my usual hunt this morning. 

_Well I suppose I could make a--_ I stopped in mid-thought, my eyes growing wide at the site of four skinned and dressed rabbits on the bar. A half-smile tugged at my lips. I recognized a gesture of peace when I saw one. I knew the warrior would never say a word of apology, of explanation. None was needed now; her offering had been given. I accepted it without hesitation, partly because I admired Xena and her aloof reserve and partly because I wanted to stay in her good graces. I had already learned one of the most important lessons one could ever learn about the Warrior Princess: cross her at your own peril. 

Learned it, yes. Put it into practice? Not quite. 

With Annis' enthusiastic help, I managed to create a rather hearty meal of rabbit stew, bread, tea, and some wild berries Annis had been only too happy to go out and root around in prickly bushes for. 

We sat down to our meal, both of us too exhausted to do more than eat, then I stopped putting off the inevitable and I made up a tray for Gabrielle. I added a new poultice and some fresh catnip tea to the tray and headed glumly up the stairs. I dreaded facing her after what had happened, but I knew I would be remiss in my duties if I failed to serve her as I had been. 

My knock was feather-light and hesitant. A bright voice answered instantly. 

"Come in!" 

I opened the door slowly, afraid to look up from the tray I was balancing so carefully. 

"I've brought your-" 

"Breakfast!" said the bard. I looked up and found her flushed but sitting up, surrounded by parchment and scrolls. She chewed on the end of her quill, grinning happily. Her stomach echoed her outburst by growling loudly. I smiled in spite of myself. 

I set the tray on the table and brought a bowl of stew and a plate of bread to the bard. She dug right into the stew, making little humming noises of appreciation as she chewed. She was almost done in less than ten bites. I made a mental note to bring a bigger bowl next time. 

"I'll let you get back to your writing, Gabrielle," I said, desperate to find any excuse to get out of there. The less said about last night, the better. "Let me know if you need anything." 

"Taren, wait. Don't go." I turned to find her munching her way through an entire round of bread. She finished one bite and paused before another. "I'm writing the story of Lidio and your village and I have tons of questions. Do you have time to answer them?" 

Confusion must have crossed my face before I could stop it because the bard knit her brows in a sudden frown. 

"Is something wrong, Taren?" I didn't answer but she didn't wait for me to, anyway. "Whatever it is, it can't be that bad, can it?" 

She didn't know. I remembered the rabbits and realized the warrior must have slipped out before Gabrielle had woken…and that made things infinitely easier for me. 

The bard's concerned and expectant gaze reminded me of her question. 

Well, what was I supposed to do? How could I possibly tell her what had happened while she'd been unaware? How could I possibly tell her that I'd spent the night in the forest because her lover had chased me from my own inn? 

"No. I was just thinking about all the work I have to do today." I lied. So there. 

"It can wait. We're still your only customers, right? And the customer is always right, right?" 

I nodded hesitantly. "Uhh…right." 

"Then please stay and help me with the story. Xena won't be back for a while and I wouldn't mind having a little company. I'm not good at being cooped up in a room alone, even if it is a beautiful room." 

Part of me desperately wanted to stay and part of me vibrated with alarm at the very idea. But with those sparkling green-gold eyes gazing up at me hopefully, the part of me all for staying easily drowned out the buzzing alarm. I fetched the bowl of berries from the tray and a chair and moved to the side of the bed. I held the bowl out to the bard. 

"You said you had questions, M'Lady?" I asked, grinning from ear to ear. 

"Ooooh, berries!" She popped a handful into her mouth, frowning when she realized I was back to calling her the hated title. "An' qui' callin' me tha'!" she said around a mouthful of sweet, red pulp, a trickle of juice escaping down her chin. 

I laughed. "Your wish is my command, M'Lady!"

\---

Continued in part 2


	2. Chapter 2

**Part II**

 

_Chomp, crunch, crunch…_

_Xena pulled dark, oval leaves from a clutch of pungent smelling plants with purple buds and slipped them into a tiny sack. She abandoned thought to the heat of the mid-morning sun and the gentle crunching sounds Argo made as she checked the growth of some wild grasses. Gone was the anger and the envy and the burdensome shame that had prompted her to make an apology of four quiet rabbits sometime before the sun rose. All of it was gone, replaced by a numbing nothingness that crowded out all thoughts other than those necessary to her task._

_The warrior finished harvesting the last ripe leaves from that particular clutch of plants and moved deeper into the forest, knowing she would find a cluster of seven-pointed stars with cream-colored edging not too far. She could smell the tang of the herb from where she crouched. She finally spotted them and began harvesting neat handfuls of the olive-colored leaves, slipping them into a fresh sack._

_It was the sack that found the first crack in the ice around the warrior's thoughts._

_As she finished with the star-shaped leaves and moved on to another nearby herb, deftly plucking the spidery white and purple blooms from taller stems, she fingered yet another one of the tiny, silken sacks, stopped what she was doing…_

_…and thought of Gabrielle._

_Gabrielle, who had made the little pouches, sitting up night after night for half a moon, neglecting her scrolls and her sleep on a wild experiment to please a foul-tempered Xena. Gabrielle, who had spent hard-earned dinars on sheer fabric usually reserved for the finery of wealthy women, sure of its practical use in her project. Gabrielle, whose grin outshone Apollo's Chariot that day when Xena quietly admitted the idea, while unorthodox, was nothing short of brilliant._

_There were fifteen of them, each precisely cut and sewn with tiny, even stitches. Each with a slip-cord closure and a length of sturdy line to secure them to Argo's tack. And although Argo looked like a reject from some freakish festival parade when wearing them, there was no denying that the sheer pouches cut their herb-drying time to next to nothing._

_No more wasting dinars on pre-dried herbs in the market when it was just as easy and cheaper to walk two leagues into the forest and pick your own. And no more wasting a day or two in the sun just to have a stock of healing herbs ready. Now drying was portable and it was just like the bard to think of an unusual solution to a problem that Xena hadn't even realized existed._

_The pensive warrior held the sack to her cheek, indulging in the softness of the silky fabric. A gentle heat began inside her that melted all that forbidding ice and she unbalanced her weight and dropped solidly to the ground. She was suddenly aware that she hadn't really slept in what seemed like days and that the last meal she'd eaten had been a quickly-consumed bowl of stew that Taren had brought at mid-day the day before. She rested her head in her hands, letting her long hair curtain her face and eyes from the sun._

_She won't leave me. She can't, came the unbidden, silent plea._

_Then an explosive snort._

_Yeah, right. And what's going to stop her this time? My sparkling conversation?_

_But Gabrielle had always come back and that one thought became a very thin lifeline on which to hang her hopes. After returning to Poteidaia that one brief time, even after marrying Perdicus, the bard had always come back to Xena. Maybe, just maybe, their friendship was more binding than she dared hope._

_True, she was no witty conversationalist. And Xena knew she had not much else to offer Gabrielle in the way of security or stability or even consistency. But she also knew she was the best at what she did do, little though it was. And if that wasn't quite enough to convince the bard, there was always the excitement of life on the road._

_A hesitant grin tugged at Xena's lips and she lifted her head._

_She's a bard, she thought. There are no stories in Galasia except one little tale of a boy's desperate run and some villagers hiding out in trees and even that one doesn't have an entirely happy ending. A bard would be bored in Galasia._

_That last thought brought a quickly stifled chuckle and suddenly things didn't seem so grim to the warrior. Suddenly it was very easy to chalk up the entire incident to a misunderstanding and her own worry-clouded judgment. Gabrielle had had a nightmare and the innkeeper was just being kind and helpful._

_Xena flexed her powerful thigh muscles and stood straight up, happily looping sack cords onto Argo's tack so the gentle breezes of the day could begin the drying process. Her pity for her maligned horse quickly gave way to a newly hatching idea. To make it up to the bard and to get her outdoors where fresh air and sunlight would no doubt do wonders for her health, perhaps an afternoon picnic was in order._

_Argo was the only living creature who heard the jaunty-if-brief tune that Xena nearly choked on when she realized she was humming…and the mare was quickly sworn to secrecy._

 

* * *

 

The morning eroded into noontime and Gabrielle and I still sat talking. 

Long ago finished with questions about Lidio and his heroic acts of bravery (that no doubt would be poetically exaggerated by this bard's flair for the dramatic), we had moved on to stories about her and Xena's travels together. I couldn't get enough, listening with rapt attention as this gentle woman with sunset hair and vibrant eyes described in painstaking detail something I only just realized I wanted more than anything in the whole world: her life. Or more accurately, the life she and Xena shared. 

It seemed so wonderful, so exciting, so _different_ compared to the plodding drudgery of my days. While I woke before dawn to hunt the meals that would feed the dullards that patronized my inn, Xena woke before dawn to hunt a meal for two that would carry them into an uncharted day, rich with potential and the promise of adventure. While I spent time maneuvering between my brother's wicked moods and the mid-day meal crowd, Xena and Gabrielle traveled from town to town, fighting tyrants or bandits or injustice in whatever form it took, protecting villagers like me from harm and evil. While I cleaned and mopped late into the evening, Xena and Gabrielle shared an evening meal and a story or two in the quiet forest, caring for weapons or wounds and each other, joined in a cause they both believed in and that both would fight and die for. 

That was what I wanted. For me and for them. To be able to live like that, free and with courage and honor. In one clarifying moment, I understood that what I felt for them both-yes, Xena too-wasn't a crush after all. It was love. 

No, not that kind. Although it was hard not to fall in love with each of them just a little. 

No, it was the kind of love where you recognize goodness and righteousness and you want to protect that and give yourself to the service of it. I laughed inside, realizing all my years spent in the service of dreary, ordinary people had prepared me for this one moment, this amazing clarity of purpose. They had a cause to fight for and they called it the Greater Good. Now I had a cause to fight for and it was them. 

"Taren?" I had drifted into my thoughts so deeply I was not sure how long the bard had been silent. Gabrielle's sleepy voice hastily brought me back to my surroundings. "Are you okay?" A wide yawn punctuated her question. 

"I'm sorry, Gabrielle. Got lost in your story for a bit." 

She chuckled. "I'm glad I haven't lost my touch. I feel all out of practice." Another yawn followed by drooping eyes. I got up to fetch the poultice, fully intending to get her re-bandaged before she fell into Morpheus' arms again. Gabrielle saw me with the new bandages and sat up a little to loosen the old ones. 

"You need to rest more before I'll let you practice on my customers, M'Lady. You couldn't have slept very well with that nightmare last night. Do you have them often?" 

Storm clouds settled in her sea-green eyes before she turned her gaze away. 

"Yes," came the quiet answer. Her sudden sadness made me put the poultice aside for a moment. I wanted to wipe that stain from her eyes before I did anything else. 

I don't know why I chose the question I asked. I only know I wanted to cheer the bard and I thought changing the subject to something happier would do just that. It was the wrong question. Definitely the wrong one. 

"How long have you been in love with her?" 

Startled green eyes darted to mine. Then she squeezed them shut and turned her head toward the wall with a little cry of pain, tears spilling down her cheeks. Shock, like a lightning bolt, shook through me. 

_They haven't-my gods, they aren't lovers! I thought…I thought…_

It was obvious that whatever I had thought, it was wrong. Oh, Gabrielle was in love with Xena all right. So in love that it was tearing her up inside and stupid me asked her a stupid question that was as painful as rubbing salt into her wounds. 

So intent on apologizing to this sweet woman whom I had hurt, I didn't notice-once again-the door to the room open. 

"Oh, Gabrielle!" I whispered, laying my hand against her cheek to comfort her, emotion filling my voice. A sharp intake of breath from the threshold caused the bard and I both to look up, startled. 

In a moment so horrid, so completely wrong, time had no recourse but to stand silently by and watch. I saw instantly the picture the bard and I made, me standing over the beautiful red-head with my hand gentle against her face, the bard without her top and bandages… 

I also saw in that same instant the deep wound the picture made on Xena's soul, her cobalt eyes registering shock, jealousy, hatred, and grief all in one flicker of time. 

The warrior's eyes became ice so brittle I was frozen to the spot by her gaze alone. The air in the room seemed to have disappeared completely and all around me was a cold so piercing my bones hurt. Finally, the warrior turned on her heel, stalking down the hall. 

I ran after her.

 

* * *

 

 

_No! Wait!!_

_Gabrielle bolted out of the bed, ignoring the sickening spin of the room as best she could. She grabbed for a shift to pull over her body, her heart pounding furiously._

_Xena thinks I-that we were-oh gods, NO!!_

_She lurched for the door and her stomach lurched with her as another wave of dizziness washed over her, crowding her vision with little dancing lights. She clenched her jaw against the nausea and forced herself to move, aware that these symptoms most likely meant her fever was getting worse again. She didn't care. She had to get to Xena, to explain, to-_

_The bard came to a crashing halt, catching herself on the doorframe as a sudden question zipped through her brain._

_Wait a minute… Why would she care?_

_She had no time to ponder that question. Shouting erupted in the room below her…shouting that was definitely not Xena's, which was more disconcerting than it was comforting. Forgetting about her vertigo, Gabrielle ran down the hallway, not even feeling the roughness of the boards under her feet. She made it about two steps down the flight of stairs before the scene unfolding below her froze her like stone._

_Taren was shouting and waving balled fists at the warrior, which was surprising enough to the bard because she had never, ever seen someone-other than Xena, of course-so angry. But more surprising to Gabrielle was the look of utter shock on Xena's face and the fact that she was actually backing away from the enraged and sobbing woman, a thin trickle of blood dripping down her chin._

_The most surprising thing, however, turned out to be what the innkeeper was screaming at the top of her lungs. When Gabrielle's fuzzy mind finally caught up to what was being said, her breath all but stopped in her chest._

 

* * *

 

I caught up to the warrior at the bottom of the stairs. She was heading for the door and I knew I had to stop her, had to explain, had to set things right again. If she went through that door, I absolutely knew the world would crumble. 

"Xena, STOP!!" 

I didn't know how I would stop her if she kept on walking. It simply wasn't an option in my mind. I didn't care that Annis was watching this whole scene with one hand raised over the plate she had been wiping, the dirty rag frozen in mid-air. I didn't care that in three more minutes the mid-day tavern customers would start coming in, treated to the show of their lives. All I _did_ care about was making the warrior believe she hadn't seen what she thought she'd seen. 

_Please stop, please, please stop…I will do anything if you will just stop, just listen for a moment…please, please, please, Xena, STOP!_

Like magic, the warrior froze with her hand on the door. Slowly, torturously she turned to face me and I swallowed hard, my mouth very, very dry. The look in her eyes told me I was dangerously near to breathing my last. 

"I…I want-" 

I screamed in my head, frustrated with my own mewling stupidity. _Gods, Taren, spit it out! She will kill you where you stand!_

My hesitation was a mistake. Xena saw the fear, saw my weakness. An evil grin slid onto her face and she took three long strides toward me, stopping only inches from my face. She bared her teeth in a feral display of her power and leaned in even closer. 

"You want _her,_ don't you?" she hissed. "Well, you can have her! She is nothing to me. Nothing but a common WHORE!" 

It was the absolute wrong thing to say. 

I felt all the hesitation and nervousness and desperation inside me coalesce into an unfathomable rage and then I felt it ignite. I felt the unexpected power surge through me. I felt my palm-held flat-rise from my side as if commanded by someone other than me and then I felt the lip-splitting slap I delivered with it quake right through me like a thunderbolt from Tartarus. 

"HOW DARE YOU SPEAK OF HER THAT WAY!!" 

I screamed my venom at Xena, backing her towards the bar. 

"THINK OF ME WHAT YOU WILL! SCREAM AT ME, TEAR MY HAIR OUT, GOUGE OUT MY EYES, FLAY ME ALIVE IF YOU WANT, BUT NEVER, _EVER_ SPEAK OF HER LIKE THAT AGAIN!" 

I knew I was going to die, I _knew_ it. And I didn't care. Not one bit. I just kept coming at the warrior, my balled fists pounding the air as I continued to scream. 

"IT WAS NOT WHAT IT SEEMED! I NEVER TOUCHED HER! I WAS CHANGING HER BANDAGES AND SHE BEGAN TO CRY! SHE DID NOTHING, DO YOU HEAR ME?! NOTHING!!" 

Tears streamed down my face. I couldn't stop them. I didn't even try. 

"It was nothing!" I sobbed. "She did nothing! Don't you think I know what's going on here? Don't you think I see it in every moment, in every breath you take? Do you think I would _harm_ that? _Spoil_ that?" 

I looked up into Xena's shocked sky-blue eyes, both of us unaware that Gabrielle was now behind me on the stairs, the confused and frightened bard unable to stay away in spite of herself. 

With the last of my strength and knowing my short life was over, I spat, "Even though every minute that passes without you telling her is wasted and rotten in my eyes, don't you think I _know_ you are so in love with her you would give anything, _ANYTHING_ , if only that moment had been what you thought it was and if only it had been _you_ instead of me?!" 

The room was utterly silent except for the gulping breaths I took to calm myself. My words hung in the room like a bloody flag and Xena could do nothing but stare at me. Until, that is, she noticed the ghost of a woman behind me. 

Gabrielle must have moved, maybe to put her fingers over her trembling lips. I don't know. Xena's eyes sprang from mine to the movement, filling with the one thing I never expected to see glimmering in sky-blue…fear. With a small cry of anguish, the warrior took a step back from me, then turned and fled from the inn. The bard and I both cried out in unison. 

"Xena!" 

I would have run after her again if Gabrielle hadn't chosen that moment to collapse.

 

* * *

 

_Xena drove Argo hard through the forest, drawing comfort from the pounding power and speed, releasing the turmoil in her heart into the rushing wind. The sting of Taren's words hurt worse than any slap and matched the stinging of her eyes. The tight ache in her throat frightened her more than she expected. If only it would release her, let her breathe! She closed her eyes for only an instant, greeted immediately by the look of shock in Gabrielle's wide green eyes…_

_It was too much! Her eyes snapped open, fleeing again from that sight. With a roar, she urged Argo into a dead run, not caring about the branches striping her arms as she crashed through them or the sudden blur of her vision. She just wanted to get away-far, far away from the void that followed swift on her heels no matter how fast she fled or where she went._

_It was Argo who finally stopped, almost throwing Xena to the forest floor. The warrior scanned the landscape but found no threat, no reason for the abrupt halt to her run. She was almost annoyed until she recognized the little meadow and the tree in the northern corner._

_Taren's tree._

_Xena slid from the saddle and absently patted Argo's side. She walked the few paces to the tree and examined it. The tree was unremarkable but strong and thick with foliage. It afforded a perfect view of the path leading to the village, allowing for the scrutiny of travelers, and it was an efficient hunting blind as well. As a warrior, Xena applauded the choice. It was worthy of any Amazon._

_But it was also a personal place, soaked through with the hopes and dreams of one apprentice innkeeper who had managed with one sentence to expose a part of Xena's soul. That was bad enough to the warrior, but that Gabrielle had heard it! The image of Gabrielle's look of shock stabbed through her heart like a hot knife._

_"She knows now." Her voice was emotionless but sure. Argo nickered in seeming agreement. Xena made a move to remount the patient mare but lost her momentum and ended up simply leaning against the animal, her empty eyes mirroring the hollow that had been carved out of her chest._

_She hid her eyes against Argo's hot flanks, feeling the tight ache swell inside her again. The tears she would never reveal to anyone mixed with the horse's sweat and the blood of her own split lip and stained Argo's golden coat._

_"I never wanted her to find out this way, Argo. I never wanted her to find out at all!" She turned her eyes to the mare, as if checking to see that the animal was paying attention. "What do I do now? What do I do if she leaves me?" Silence was her only answer._

_A sudden decisiveness settled itself inside the warrior and she took a deep breath._

_"I am in love with Gabrielle, Argo," she whispered. She let the words hang amid the dappled sunlight and soft forest sounds and found the horse's giant brown eyes pinned to her with interest. "You heard me. That girl was right. I am in love with Gabrielle. And I **would** give anything if only it had been me in that room…touching her…loving her…"_

_She wandered back to the tree, remembering having the bard in her arms as they rode into this village, remembering the sweet ache of her frustrated desire._

_She leaned against the tree half-wishing they had never come through this meadow, had never met Taren, had never started down this path._

_Who am I kidding? We started down this path a long time ago. Long before this meadow._

_"I'm afraid, Argo."_

_It was a difficult admission for the Warrior Princess. Legions of the best warriors arrayed against her in bloody warfare could not raise an iota of trepidation within her. The awesome force of nature had never once given her pause, not in a tempest's fury or even in the wake of a volcano's wrath. Not even the gods themselves found a single flicker of hesitation in her when she faced them. And yet this one glorious woman had the power to make her tremble with just a smile…and that terrified her._

_A sudden truth bolted through her brain._

_"My fear is the key."_

_Those simple words opened that leaden door in her heart locked and forgotten long ago._

_Intrigued, she pushed the door open a little, going over every argument she had ever had about not giving in to her feelings for Gabrielle. All the "She's Not Interested" lectures, all the "She Deserves More Than Me" noble speeches, all the "I Don't Deserve Her" fatalistic declarations, and all the "I Will Bring Her Only Danger and Pain" ridiculous pessimism. And she realized it was all a load of pig dung. Every last word of it._

_It wasn't about protecting Gabrielle from some horrible fate or from throwing away her life. It wasn't about Gabrielle at all. It was about Xena, ex-warlord and former Destroyer of Nations, sometimes now called the Warrior Princess. It was about pain and hurting and trust and self-protection._

_It was about control…and losing it._

_The door to that newly opened place blew off its hinges. And staring back at Xena from the other side were her own eyes._

 

* * *

  

"Please just go away." 

The bard's words were soft but laced with venom. They were the first words she had said since waking to find me standing over her. She turned her eyes to the wall and would not even look at me. I felt tears spring to my eyes, but I fought them back. I had done enough crying…and enough damage. I deserved her ire. 

"Just let me bandage your wounds," I answered quietly. When she made no move to comply, I pleaded with her. She sighed and allowed my ministrations, never once allowing me the comfort of her gaze. 

"Now just go," she said bitterly when I finished. I nodded and turned, stopping at the door. 

"I didn't mean to hurt her, Gabrielle. I want you to know that." I closed the door before my mouth could betray anyone again. 

Annis met me at the foot of the stairs with a cup of spiced tea. 

"I closed the inn, Taren. I told everyone you were sick. Sit down by the fire and I'll make you something to eat." She led me to a chair near the hearth and gently pushed me into it. I barely noticed the warmth of the orange blaze. In the periphery of my vision, I saw Annis studying me with unreadable eyes. She made no move towards the kitchen at all-only stood there for an interminable moment, watching. The question she finally asked took me by complete surprise. 

"Are you in love with her?" 

I closed my eyes and took a sip of tea, letting the hot liquid torture the lump in my throat. 

_Please don't go there, Annis. I am so tired and I ache and I don't know how long I can keep from crying and I don't want to hurt you today, too. Please don't go there._

"No," I whispered. 

She didn't move. I could feel the tension crackling around her. She wanted to tell me something…something I didn't want to hear. 

"I followed you last night." 

"What?!" I wasn't expecting that. Not at all. 

"To make sure you were okay! I thought that warrior woman had yelled at you or hurt you or something. The way you ran out of here, well I…just had to know that you were okay." 

Traitorous tears slipped down my cheeks. It was worse than I ever imagined. She cared, _really_ cared. I hadn't felt that since I was small, before the wasting illness stole my mother from me. Even now I had only a few precious memories of my gentle mother. Her smile that greeted me when I returned from Morpheus' realm, the way she would sing to me when I'd fallen and scraped my knee, the special porridge she made with honey and milk and spices, just for me. She cared about the little things…like Annis. 

_Annis followed me. She worried about me._ And that thought was like boiling oil on all the raw places inside me. 

I felt the tenuous hold I had on my emotions slip dangerously. I was angry, which surprised the one small part of my brain still clinging to what was me inside the storm now raging in my head. I was livid! 

_How dare she care?! Who does she think she is?! She's just a silly, stupid kid! I'll show her how stupid she is for caring about me!!_

"Don't love me, Annis." My voice was quiet but sharp, like a dagger slipping out of its sheath for the first time. 

The girl's pale eyes grew round with the horror of her feelings revealed. I ignored the look, used to it by now. 

"W-what?" 

I looked directly into Annis' eyes. "I said, don't love me. I'm not worthy of it. It doesn't make me happy. I can only ruin you as I have them! You would do better to kill me!" 

I let the bitterness poisoning me seep into my eyes. My lip curled into a sneer I knew was a weak imitation of Xena's terrorizing snarl, but it was effective nonetheless. 

Annis shook her head vigorously. "No," she whispered fiercely, tears filling her eyes and spilling down her cheeks. "Nooo!" 

The darkness inside me rejoiced at the sight. I let my anger and my self-loathing take control. What did I care? Why shouldn't she hurt like I did? It would save her in the end. It would prepare her for the empty life in store for her, no matter what the Fates dangled in front of her, just out of reach. 

I stalked into the kitchen and returned with one of my butchering knives. I slapped it roughly into the frightened girl's hand and imprisoned it there with my own strong grip. 

"Save yourself the agony, little girl! Slit my throat before I cut your heart out too!!" 

"Stop it, Taren!! Let me go! Let me GO!" 

She wrenched her hand away from mine, leaving me holding the cold blade-end of the knife. Once free, she froze, suddenly not knowing what to do. I could see the emotions warring inside her, half of her wanting to flee and half of her wanting to run into my arms. I never saw which half won the battle. The thunderous sound of many, many horses startled us both. When screams broke out in the street and the shouts of angry men mingled with the clang of steel against steel, I turned to the tavern door, the pit of my stomach heavy with dread. 

I knew that sound. It was the same sound that had haunted my nightmares since I was eight summers old. 

The crash of the wooden panel as it succumbed to the vicious kick of a raider made Annis jump, but not me. On instinct alone I flipped the knife I held with a sharp jerk of my wrist. The blade tumbled end over end, finally splitting the raider's skull with a strange sound like a melon cracking against a rock. He pitched over in the doorway, temporarily blocking the entrance. More shouting, closer than before, responded to the sudden death of the raider. 

I knew they would find me. But they didn't have to find Annis. 

I grabbed the girl's arms and violently shoved her towards the back door, all my anger replaced now by fear and urgency. She was only a girl, just now filled with the possibility of who she could be. She didn't deserve to die in this little dingy inn with me, a warrior wannabe with dreams above her station. 

"Run! Annis, run! As far as you can! Through the forest!" 

"But-" 

"I said RUN!! To the tree! GO!! NOW!!" I knew she would be safe there. The tree would protect her as it had protected Pirro and me when we were children. When men like the ones now ripping my tavern door off its hinges had thundered into our village one sleepy afternoon to find us warned and hidden and protected. 

I shoved her again as I heard the sound of metal shearing out of wood. Frustrated men spat irritated curses at my back. One massive warrior with the look of a half-starved, all-mad dog finally cleared the awkward breach. 

With a yelp Annis bolted out the back door and tore into the welcoming forest. She disappeared almost immediately, her escape covered by thick summer greenery. I was relieved. I had other problems to deal with. 

Darting around the first pair of meaty hands that reached for me, I raced into the kitchen and lunged for whatever weapon I could get my hands on. Two more knives found new homes in the flesh and bone of ugly men bristling in studded leather, dropping them before they could use their freshly drawn swords. Before I could flip the third knife, I noticed a pair of men heading for the stairs up to the rooms. 

_Don't even think it!!_

With a lazy snap of my wrist, I sent the third knife singing through the common room and it sank handle-deep into the back of one of the men attempting to ascend the stairs. 

I had only one thought on my mind: _protect Gabrielle_. 

I grabbed the broom from the corner and dodged angry warriors as they made blundering attempts to stop me, either underestimating my speed or my skill. I hefted the solid wood in my hands like a fighting staff and blocked the way to the stairs, my feral smile begging the other man to try and pass. More raiders bunched up behind him, drawing weapons, eager to rid themselves of me, this little godsbedamned pest of a woman who had already killed four of them. Right there I made a vow to kill them all or die trying. 

"Taren, put it down." The soft voice behind me made me turn and look while the men I held off snickered. Gabrielle stood on the stairs, imprisoned securely by a knife at her throat and the grinning, scar-mottled, toothless giant of a man who held it there. I dropped the broom instantly, as if it was made of snakes. 

"Don't hurt her," I said. I would have begged if they'd asked me too. I would have done _anything_ they'd asked me too. 

"Oh, I have no intention of hurting her…" The voice behind me spoke with a studied calm, although I could hear the faint excitement he tried very seriously to hide. He had the sound of a raptor after a woodmouse, all confidence and sinuous power. "Yet," he amended. I could hear the vicious smile slide onto his face. 

I turned and found myself staring at a massive man. His long, straw-colored hair flowed over his shoulders in stark contrast to the black leather and silver armor he wore. Blades of every shape and size were attached to his body in some fashion or another. There were even two small ones inside ingenious little sheaths built into his gauntlets. One moon white eye glared at me. Where the other eye should have been there was only a long, jagged scar. 

Gabrielle regarded the man with distaste. 

"Phorcys," she said, her voice clear and sure. 

"How's the shoulder, little one?" he asked conversationally. 

She shifted under her captor's hands and the knife tightened against her throat, drawing a thin trickle of blood that enraged me. I clenched and unclenched my fists at my sides, trying not to endanger the bard more by launching into a suicidal, all-out attack on these unwashed pigs who would dare to harm one such as she. I could still hear the sounds of a weak battle in the street and knew that our village had lost. There would be no rescue for us today, especially without Xena. 

I cursed the Fates for their stinking timing. One flicker of a candleflame in either direction and the warrior would never have seen that compromising moment. She would be here now and these men…wouldn't. 

"Ah-ah-ah!" said Phorcys, waggling his finger at the bard. He tugged on a glove and flexed his fist, the leather giving a satisfying creak. "No tricks, little one. This time she'll have to come to me. And I won't be as generous as before. She'll have to earn her death." He looked up at Gabrielle with the cold eye of the predator. "And that might take two moons…or more." His grin was as thin and cold as the air atop Olympus.

 

* * *

 

_Annis ran. And kept running. Every sound, every crash of a fleeing creature startled by her flight through the forest made her run faster. Her heart screamed and her lungs were on fire, but her feet were like the wind. She couldn't remember where the tree was anymore. She was too terrified to care._

_She ran for what seemed like forever, the cheerful, sunny landscape going by in a blur. Branches reached for her hair and clothing and roots and other forest debris sought to trip her, but she kept going, blind to every obstacle. She felt as if Cerebrus himself were on her heels._

_Suddenly she was lifted off her feet, her strangled cry smothered by a strong hand. All she could do was pitch and kick in the iron-like embrace. She landed two solid blows before her captor shook her like a rag doll._

_"Calm down, Annis. It's me."_

_Xena gripped the terrified tavern girl as tightly as she dared. She didn't want to harm her but she also didn't want to be kicked again. She would be sporting several healthy bruises before the end of the day._

_Annis fell still in Xena's grip but the tension did not leave her. This woman, after all, was the Destroyer of Nations. If she was anything like the stories Annis had heard since she was a little girl, like the frightening dark menace that had confronted Taren back in the inn, she wasn't sure her life was in any less danger here than it had been back with the raiders._

_When Xena felt reasonably sure the girl had stopped kicking and fighting and that she wouldn't run away, she set her gently on the forest floor and turned her round. The girl's chest heaved with the effort of getting back her breath and she was as pale as new fallen snow. Xena felt a trickle of alarm skitter down her spine._

_"What happened?" she asked, lowering herself to meet Annis' wild-eyed gaze._

_"Raiders," gasped the girl, her hand fluttering to her burning throat. "They broke…the door down! Taren…killed one but there were…too many!" Annis felt like her lungs would burst and she gulped in great lungfuls of tangy summer air. Her bones felt like they would melt from exhaustion while her muscles complained bitterly of the unusual exertion._

_Xena straightened, her eyes darkening with deadly purpose. She whistled sharply, answered by a distant nicker and the advancing sounds of a horse through thickets. She mounted Argo before she even stopped in the clearing, gathering the reins in one hand and rooting around in the saddlebag with the other._

_"Here," she said simply, handing the girl a waterskin and a small cloth-wrapped packet. "Taren's tree is through there." She pointed to a copse of trees rustling with a gentle breeze, beckoning to Annis with long, spindly arms. "Stay there. Someone will come for you. I promise."_

_"Wait!" cried the girl, grabbing desperately onto Argo's girth strap, stopping the warrior from taking off. "Where are you going?" She knew there were too many raiders for this one woman to take on, no matter how terrifying she was. If she went back there she would be captured-or worse-leaving Annis in the middle of the forest, all alone._

_"To handle this." Xena was quickly becoming annoyed and fought to keep the signs of that from seeping into her words. The girl was just frightened and didn't want to be left alone. Xena knew she would feel the same in the girl's place but she just didn't have the time to comfort her. Gabrielle was in trouble and that was simply all that mattered to the warrior at the moment. The need to find the bard sang through her blood. Its baleful, primal call demanded an answer._

_"I made you a promise. I will send someone…soon." On the last word, Xena urged Argo into a dead run back to the village. It was by luck alone that Annis' fingers had released the leather strap in time._

 

* * *

 

I struggled with the rough hemp binding my wrists as the raider charged with hauling me upstairs slung me over his shoulder like a sack of beans. The prickly stuff was tied too tight and it bit into my skin as I tried desperately to loosen it. A sudden slipperiness and a fresh metallic tang alerted me that I was bleeding but I didn't care. At least it distracted me from the gagging odor of stale ale, horse sweat, and the other disturbing smells that always followed these walking pieces of goatdung. 

Just as I began to make some headway with the rope, the world pitched violently and I hit the floor with a sickening thwack. I lay there trying to remember how to breathe while the pig-faced moron who'd thrown me snickered at his little prank. I ignored him, focusing instead on my breathing and the clean rough boards beneath my face. A sharp yelp and another sickening thwack behind me made me twist and roll up onto my knees. 

"Gabrielle-" My words died in my throat as I saw the toothless giant standing above the bard, pulling his booted foot back to deliver a vicious kick, his vacant look of utter hatred nauseating to me. His only goal, I realized, was to inflict pain…a lot of it. She had done nothing to him. Nothing at all. 

And he would do nothing to her either, I decided, anger rising in me like hot bile. Not while I was alive. I barely managed to throw myself over Gabrielle before the kick connected. 

Gods! The agony! Like an icy dagger plunged into my side, followed by a wildfire of hot, sharp needles! I panted furiously, hoping with my whole heart that I hadn't cried out. I couldn't remember if I had. My world was consumed by a throbbing, pounding core of pain that made thoughts and memories flee. 

My sacrifice only served to anger the giant more. He decided a willing victim was better than nothing and kicked me again, harder. An explosion of nausea and the blinding redness that obscured my vision were the only hints I had that I still lived. He would have kicked me again but the pig-faced moron stepped between the giant and me, hissing something about "damaging the bait." A brief argument ensued about the fact that I "didn't count" and that if I wanted to be kicked as much as it seemed I did, he was more than happy to oblige. Of course, his actual words were far less succinct and apparently even less convincing. The pig-faced moron dragged the bastard giant out of the room, promising him rum and food and female entertainment. That got the bastard's reluctant attention. The sounds of their boots clunked out of the room and down the hall. 

After I was sure they were gone, I rolled off of Gabrielle and onto my other side, nearly screaming with the searing pain the movement caused. I closed my eyes, aware of a tingling in my head that said I might lose consciousness if I wasn't careful. And I intended to be more careful in the future, providing I survived this. That Gabrielle hadn't experienced those kicks was the one thing that kept me from hopelessness. 

"Taren?! Gods! Taren, are you all right?" 

I felt movement behind me as the bard struggled to turn herself towards me, hindered by her bindings. She finally managed to raise herself above me and she gasped. 

"You're white as ice! Oh gods!" She earnestly began to scoot her way around me, finally managing to get herself facing me. She reached for the hemp around my wrists, her nimble fingers making child's play of the quickly-tied knots. I couldn't help her. I just lay there, limply, staring off into nothing. Everything hurt too badly. 

"Oh Taren! Why? Why did you do that?" Her green eyes glittered as she gently moved a lock of hair from my eyes. "I was so awful to you before and you still…" She didn't finish the thought. A quiet sob swallowed her words. 

"Because he was right," I whispered. 

Gabrielle shook her head. "What?" 

"I did it because he was right," I whispered hoarsely. "I don't count." 

The bard tightened her lips and leaned forward, gripping my shoulder with firm but gentle fingers. "You listen to me, Taren. You DO count! I say so!" 

The gentle motion of her insistent shaking set my ribs on fire again and I clenched my teeth and squeezed my eyes shut. 

"No, I don't," I managed when she finally stopped shaking me, realizing she was causing me pain. "Not as much as you." 

The bard sat back a little, an uncomfortable distance clouding her eyes. 

"Relax," I said, smiling though the effort soon turned into a wince. "I'm not in love with you." 

"Are you sure?" Her question was quiet and held the tiniest bit of suspicion. 

"Even if I was, would it make a difference? I know your heart belongs to someone else." Gabrielle lowered her eyes, a faint blush creeping up her neck, and I reached out, covering one of her hands with my own. I waited until she looked up before I continued. "But I'm not in love with you. I'm sure." 

Relief flooded her eyes, followed instantly by sharp reproach. 

"Then why would you say something like that? That I count more than you do? It's not true, Taren. It's just not true." 

I sighed and tried to push myself off the floor. Gabrielle reached out to help me, concern darkening her face. 

"Are you sure you should move? I could get a pillow or-" 

"I'm fine, Gabrielle," I said in as normal a voice as I could manage. It wasn't very convincing so I decided to distract her. "How's your fever?" 

"Ummm…seems fine now. Must be all the excitement." 

"Is that what you call it?" I smirked as I untied the bindings around my ankles then set to work on the bard's restraints. 

"You haven't answered my question," said Gabrielle quietly. 

I rubbed my eyes with dirty hands. I was exhausted and facing this woman's questions had about as much appeal to me as spending the evening 'entertaining' the men downstairs. But I dismissed my hesitation with a bored wave of my hand and realized with some relief that I couldn't even raise the energy to care anymore. If she wanted to know, I would tell her. 

"The bard wants a story then? All right." I took a deep breath and began, my brows knitted in thought and my gaze far away. "A long time ago there was a little girl who liked to play Soldiers and Slaves with her older brother in the forest. They had a special tree there, a tree that had once been a true fortress when raiders had threatened their home. Now the tree was a fortress only in their games, always strong, always protecting them. Until the little boy grew too old to play childish games and the little girl was the only one who climbed into the sturdy branches, whispering to the tree as if it could understand her…" 

"The tree in the meadow," whispered Gabrielle. "I was right. You watched us from that tree." She sat up a little straighter as if the discovery proved something about herself. I nodded. 

"Later, when the little girl's mother died from the wasting sickness, that tree became the girl's only friend. She told it all her dreams and all her fears. She learned its secrets and shared her own. And when the world went dark around her, it became a shelter, embracing her and hiding her from the pain." 

"And oh, what stories that tree knew! Stories about kings and thieves and princesses and heroes! Stories about riches and paupers, about love and battle, about adventure and freedom! The girl feasted on these stories until they became a fervent dream, the dream that someday, somehow something would break the spell that trapped her in her little farm town and she would be free to find her place in the world." 

I looked directly into Gabrielle's wide, silent eyes. 

"I knew it was you. You and Xena. Don't you see? When you rode into that meadow you broke that spell. That's why you matter more! Not because you are worth more in dinars or nobility when stacked against one such as me. You are worth more because you opened a door inside me that will not shut again easily. You are worth more because you gave me the best gift in the world; you gave me my first sweet taste of dreams coming true. And maybe the pitiful dreams of a lonely innkeeper's sister are worth little to the world, but they are everything to me! I would take any kick, any blow to keep this feeling and to thank you for being the cause of it!" 

We were silent for a long time. I stared at the bard, hoping for some shred of understanding, some inkling of comprehension of the importance of the story and of her role in it. When she did not respond, I slowly lowered my eyes. 

"I guess you don't understand," I whispered. "I guess that was too much to ask." The pain of my ribs, which I had forgotten in the passion of my tale, came back in angry waves, making it hard to breathe. I felt a hand on my arm and the tightness in my chest just…left, as if in a breeze. 

"You're wrong, Taren. I do understand," said Gabrielle with a gentle smile. "More than you know." 

I looked at her with hope in my eyes, afraid to speak lest I break the new spell that was casting its magic over the old one, reweaving the tattered threads of my life yet again. I thought it slightly strange that the bard would chuckle just then. 

"Maybe you should hear the story of a lonely little girl from Poteidaia who wanted to be a bard so badly that she risked her home and life and world just to honor that very same gift. And hers was given to her by a dirty, tired, moody warrior who just happened to walk into the right clearing at precisely the right moment…" 

I grinned and settled in for this tale. Somehow I knew it had a happy ending, which has always been my favorite kind.

 

* * *

 

_Gabrielle took a moment to examine their makeshift cell. She guessed, from the path the raider had taken at the top of the stairs, that this was one of the tiny rooms on the other side of the hall from her and Xena's room. It had no windows, which meant it was definitely on the interior of the inn, a fact neatly supported by the faint sounds of men laughing and shouting coming through the floorboards. They were in a room over the main tavern, she decided, if not directly above it. She frowned. That was not good._

_She coughed and listened to the accompanying reactionary movement outside the door, straining to hear the tiny scrapes of boots across boards, the faint creak of leather, the sigh of an ancient chair under too much weight. Only one guard. She grinned a little. That was good. It meant that Phorcys obviously thought little of the two of them as far as fighting ability was concerned. Which therefore meant he had underestimated their minds as well. And that was even better._

_The bard looked over to Taren, who was dozing lightly on the bed, her eyes surrendering to sleep a little more than a candlemark ago against her mouth's yawned protests. Gabrielle had been worried that the girl's injuries were worse than she was letting on, but Taren had quietly admitted that she'd spent the night sitting underneath her tree and hadn't gotten much sleep. Gabrielle only wondered for a moment why Taren would have done that. The answer immediately marched across her brain with all the finesse of two-day-old recruits. Xena._

_A pang of sadness engulfed the bard before she could stop it. She rode the swell of it, letting the loss and the ache rise and finally fall again. And when the sadness retreated, anger came in its place._

_Damn you, Xena! Why didn't you just-_

_Her mind ached, remembering all the lonely nights that she had spent dreaming of the warrior's sure and gentle touch. Dreaming of her gemstone-and-firelight eyes filling with love and desire. Of her heated breath on her body. Even now, those thoughts awakened a deep and powerful longing within her. And even now, she could remember the hopelessness she'd suffered, knowing that the warrior did not share her desires._

_But all that had changed with one incredible sentence. Xena **was** in love with her. She'd seen it in the warrior's eyes after Taren's accusations. They'd been completely open and filled with emotion, something the bard could not ever remember seeing. Suddenly barriers that the bard took for granted had fallen. And Xena had run._

_Why didn't you just tell me?!_

_She dropped her head onto her knees and let the tears come._

_All those wasted nights! All those nights I cried myself to sleep! I loved you! I needed you! And you kept that from me! You hid it away like some prize, like some damned bauble too rich for my unworthy-_

_Gabrielle's head suddenly snapped up, seeing those palest blue eyes in her mind once again, seeing for the first time the true reason her warrior had run. It wasn't Xena's chagrin at having fallen for some little farm girl… She caught her breath in surprise._

_It was fear._

_It was the fear of losing the one thing that mattered, the one thing that had changed…no, recreated both of their lives. It was the fear of losing their friendship and with it, their reasons for living._

_With a sigh, Gabrielle realized this same fear had kept her silent too. Who was she to talk? She certainly hadn't come forward with her feelings either, had she?_

_She chuckled ruefully. I'm glad we've had this little chat, Bard, she thought. Meanwhile, you are the prisoner of one really miffed ex-captain of Xena's and you might have some-oh, I don't know-more **pressing** worries right now!_

_She had to find a way out of this mess and without Xena's help because she wasn't sure when-she gulped on the next part-or if the warrior would return. A wave of despair nearly choked the air out of her lungs but she fought it back, swiping the quickly forming tears from her eyes to clear her vision._

_I don't have time for these stupid dramatic tendencies, she chided herself. I am going to get us out of here and then I am going to spend the rest of my life if I have to hunting that tall, gorgeous, incredible keeper of my soul to the ends of the earth. And when I find her, she will be mine._

_The determined, almost feral smile that slowly appeared on Gabrielle's face scampered away when the cell door banged open. Taren bolted upright in the bed, not quite awake and biting off a yelp and several curses as pain no doubt exploded through her torso. Gabrielle winced in empathy._

_A trio of grinning men covered in leather and weapons stood in the doorway, led by the cruel, ugly man responsible for Taren's injuries._

_"The boss wants you both downstairs right now," announced one of the underlings._

_Gabrielle fought the terror now coursing through her by imagining the toothless giant reciting poetry, particularly some pieces she knew that contained a great many words beginning with 's'. The small grin the fantasy evoked and the accompanying gleeful sparkle in her eyes completely unnerved the somber guards._

 

* * *

 

_The last glimmer of sunlight slid beneath the horizon, casting the village now under the raiders' control into a deep, moonless darkness. A silent figure emerged from the forest and took a long moment to watch the ebb and flow of movement around her. She let pale eyes flick from group to group, from man to man, coldly judging, stealthily calculating._

_Deciding on her strategy, the silent shadow slid neatly behind two chatting guards as they traded boasts on the loot that they had taken in the earlier raid. She listened for a moment, grimly amused and completely unnoticed even though she was close enough to both of them to smell their fetid breath. Impatient to reach her goal and irritated by their boasts, she snaked her fingers up to their throats and savagely pressed identical pressure points, dropping the men in the middle of their jibes. In the next moment, their limp bodies disappeared._

_The shadow repeated this maneuver several times until the raider population outside the inn had thinned substantially. With her speed and deadly skill, no alarm had been raised._

_"Phorcys, you are a fool," she breathed, slinking nearer to the inn with every invisible sweep of a pair or threesome of raiders, some of them drunk, most of them stupid and inept. Her ex-captain certainly did not know how to lead or even season these boorish men and Xena wished, for the briefest of moments, that she could just ride in, take over this little group, and show them how it was done._

_She'd known since she'd seen the first of the raiders that Phorcys had taken Galasia. It was hard to miss the black and silver sashes his men wore in honor of him. She snorted a little, remembering a much younger Phorcys and how he had worn a sash once too. Black and cobalt. To honor her._

_Still into that, eh? Doesn't surprise me._

_She hadn't asked him to wear the sash. In fact, as a warlord she'd preferred her men show no visible allegiance to her-no crest, no battle sigil, no colors riding the winds. She'd liked that moment of uncertainty when the enemy doubted whom they faced on the field. It had easily crumbled the mental defenses of some of her better opponents. So when Phorcys had taken to wearing the colors, she'd ordered him to stop._

_She hadn't really understood why he wore them anyway. She'd never bedded him, never shown him any favor or attention, really. He was a competent if unimaginative captain who had a fondness for knives, for bitter rum, and for battle. She'd thought at the time that the whole sash thing was damned odd and needed to be squashed quickly before other soldiers began to do the same. Consequently, when he'd worn the colors into their next battle, against her specific orders not to do so, she'd had no choice._

_After the victory, while her army celebrated, she'd stripped the sash off of Phorcys in full view of most of her forces, belittling him for his fondness for colors and other "pretty things." Then she'd stripped him of his rank, citing-among the complaints-his inability to follow orders. And for good measure, she'd had him whipped too, just to make sure the point had been made. It had. In ways she had never expected._

_He'd sulked for moons but stayed with the army, continuing to fight for her as he had before. Except maybe, just maybe, her public humiliation of him had done more than just make her point. She'd always suspected-after the fact, of course-that it had also awakened his imagination._

_One night, in a silent camp made restless by an approaching storm, a quiet figure had skulked through the sleeping soldiers, picking out a handful that would taste the bitter edge of his blade. Once their throats had been slit, he'd made his way to another tent and had crept inside._

_The blade he'd lifted had been his favorite and he'd brushed his lips across the blade before driving it downward with all of his strength. It had been a well-aimed blow designed to impale the heart of his victim. It had failed._

_Sometime on its descent, the blade had been snatched out of his hands by hands much quicker and much more powerful. And before he'd even had time to register the dangerous turn his plan had taken, the knife had ended up buried in his own eye._

_He'd screamed and screamed while Xena had bent low over his writhing form, detailing in startlingly vivid images just how he was going to die. And when other soldiers had reported that among the others dead by his hand were two of her best captains, she'd told the quivering mass of flesh that he would suffer before he died-a moon of pain for each of them._

_"You were always a lucky one, Phorcys," muttered the warrior as she shook the memories from her head. She had had one moon with him before her path had crossed that of the Son of Zeus, changing her life forever. In the chaos that had followed, no one noticed the quiet disappearance of one pathetic, tortured, one-eyed piece of flesh._

_"I should have killed you with that blade."_

_A dark emotion boiled up from her belly as she thought of her bard, no doubt a prisoner of Phorcys' in his new headquarters._

_"And if you harm her, you will wish I had."_

_\-----_

continued in part 3

 

 


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter contains a brief description of an attempted rape. Please proceed with caution.
> 
> Also, this chapter contains graphic sexual content between consenting adult women. I do not write graphic erotica any longer and I find it very difficult to read, especially when it is my own work. If there are any glaring formatting or content errors, please take that and the fact that this was written in 1997 into account. 
> 
> Thank you.

**Part III**

****

I followed Gabrielle down the stairs, biting my lip to keep from gasping as torturous jolts of lightning zinged up and down my sides. I tried to concentrate on my breathing but that only made it worse. Instead, I contented myself with studying Gabrielle who preceded me down the stairs, something decidedly different about her. 

I puzzled over it for a moment, suddenly realizing that all her gentleness had disappeared and with it, her vulnerability. 

She held her head higher and her shoulders straighter. Her gaze never wavered and there was tension humming in the easily defined muscles beneath her skin. 

_Regal,_ I thought. _She looks regal. My gods! She is every inch a princess in this!_

I straightened my own shoulders in response and adjusted my stance slightly, falling in behind and slightly to the left of her. If she could play the part of royalty, I would damn well play the part of her guard. 

I coiled the muscles in my arms, preparing to fight, and let a snarl creep its way onto my face. In my mind's eye I was nothing but a pathetic impersonator of the bard's real protector, but I would play the part even if it killed me. Which I thought it just might do, considering the pain I was in. 

The guards that had fetched us led us to a table near the hearth where Phorcys sat, smiling evilly, like a panther sitting down to a meal of raw princess meat. 

"Won't you join me, ladies?" His question was civilly asked and promptly ignored. He waited for only a moment before the grin slid off his face and he gave a sharp nod. Gabrielle and I found ourselves slammed into chairs. 

"That's better." The smile was back. It did not reach his eye, bone-blue in the shadows that also brought the jagged scar meandering from his temple to his jaw into sharp relief. 

"What do you want, Phorcys?" asked Gabrielle haughtily. Her eyes flashed an indignant emerald green in the firelight and I could easily read impatience and irritation in them. What I couldn't see was hesitation and that bolstered my own confidence. I scowled. 

"I want you to tell me where she is," he said, his voice low with menace. 

_Ah,_ I thought. _Worried that your prey is long gone, are you?_

"I have no idea," said the bard softly. And that was so very true. I could hear the valiantly battled sadness in her voice. 

The back-handed smack came so quickly I don't think either of us expected it. The vicious blow knocked Gabrielle right out of her chair and across the floor. I bolted out of my own chair only to find two pairs of strong arms clamped around me, struggling against my violent pitching. I didn't care about the pain or the danger anymore. I wanted to kill them all. 

Phorcys glanced at me for a brief moment then returned his gaze to Gabrielle who, if at all possible, looked haughtier and more regal sitting on the floor wiping blood from her chin than she had walking down the stairs. I fought harder. 

"Call your Amazon off before I have Jirkar rip off her arms." 

My eyes jerked to Phorcys who still sat in his chair, looking bored and unconcerned. He gripped a mug of something dark in his hand and took an absent swig from it. 

_Her Amazon?? What in all of Gaea's goatherds was he talking about?_

I stopped struggling in Jirkar's arms, partially from confusion and partially from Gabrielle's sudden wide-eyed glance at me. She finally found her voice, the distraction in her eyes disappearing quickly. The princess returned, her eyes cold and fearless. 

"Taren, I'm okay. Please return to your seat." 

Jirkar slammed me into my chair with such force that my teeth rattled. I nearly doubled over from the excruciating pain that started in my chest and radiated outward in a white-hot web. Tears I could not stop began in the corners of my eyes. Until I saw Gabrielle rise. 

With more poise and grace than I had ever seen in any woman, Gabrielle rose from the floor, dusted off the front of her shift, and returned to her chair. Her eyes never left mine and she reached out to lay her hand on my arm. 

Phorcys clenched his teeth. "Stop playing-" 

"Wait!" hissed the bard, not taking her eyes away from mine. Phorcys obeyed the unbelievable order. I'm not sure who was more stunned by that at the time, him or me. 

Gabrielle reached out her hand and gripped my wrist with gentle fingers. 

"Are you all right?" she asked intently. I knew she knew I was in real trouble here. Her concern washed through me like clean, clear water, making the pain a little more bearable for the moment. I nodded once and let my eyes harden as I reached out to brush away a trickle of blood snaking down her chin. 

"I will kill him for you, M'Lady," I whispered. I was no longer playing a part and I knew it. It was a solemn vow from a willing servant. The stink of his rotting flesh would be the sweetest of scents to me. 

A burst of laughter shattered the moment as Phorcys regained his senses. 

"Oh she's a ripe one, little one! I'm going to enjoy watching Jirkar and Yrjo disembowel her!" He gave another of his sharp nods and I felt myself lifted out of my chair. 

If looks could kill, Phorcys would have been flayed alive. 

"Don't you dare!" A muscle in Gabrielle's cheek twitched under the pressure of her clenched jaw. 

Phorcys slammed his mug on the table and leaned forward. "Then you had better tell me where she is, BITCH! Or not only will I force you to watch them gut her, I will make you wear her entrails! WHERE IS XENA??" 

"I DON"T KNOW!!" shouted the bard, slapping both her palms on the table with a sharp crack. "How many more times will I have to tell you that? How many languages would you like to hear it in? Can I draw it on the wall for you? Would pictures help?!" 

She was simply beautiful. I knew it was stupid to be thinking that while sitting in my chair, with broken ribs, waiting to be killed by two smelly raiders. But it was just so true. With her nostrils flared in rage, with her eyebrows plunged into a deep V over her eyes…and what eyes… Clear and strong, with tiny thunderclouds in them, complete with flashes of lightning. She was absolutely gorgeous. 

Unfortunately, I wasn't the only one who noticed. 

A gamut of emotions flickered across Phorcys face. Shock at the outburst was quickly replaced by what I could only describe as hesitation. He glanced at the inn door for a moment then looked at his leather-covered fists for a longer one. The black leather creaked in protest as he clenched his fists tighter and tighter and I briefly thought the seams would simply split, dropping the gloves to the table in a little, useless heap. Just before the first stitches snapped, his hands stilled. I looked up to see that panther's grin back on his face. 

He stood and strolled around the table, his smile never wavering. Gabrielle stood and took a step back and for the first time since we'd walked downstairs I saw doubt clearly etched into her muscles. 

"No matter," he said softly, gently bruising the back of his hand down her cheek. She flinched at the contact and tried to take another step back, her path blocked by a table. "After all, I did say I wanted her to come to me this time, didn't I?" 

My eyes darted from his to Gabrielle's. A sick feeling began in the pit of my stomach and I could feel my arms go weak with dread. I had an awful, awful feeling about this. He was being too sweet. He was being too pleasant. And evil simply rolled off of him in waves. 

"My mistake before was trying to ensnare her with brute force. I should have realized it wouldn't work. She's too smart, you see. Too careful for that." He paced in a half circle around Gabrielle, letting his one eye graze down her body every so often. 

"I should have realized what needed to be done the instant I saw you, little one," he continued, absently reaching out and lazily drawing a finger down her bare arm. Gabrielle's hesitation bloomed into fear. I could almost smell it. My heart pounded in my ears. 

"I mean, she's like a mother bear with you, isn't she, cubling? She killed fifty of my men after you took those bolts and then she simply…disappeared. Into thin air. We searched and searched but we never found where she had taken you." He stopped and placed the tip of his finger on Gabrielle's bottom lip. 

"She was worried about you, wasn't she?" 

I saw the tremors run up Gabrielle's spine and I began to rise out of my chair. I felt no pain…only a roaring, buzzing desperation that nearly deafened me. 

"Yes," admitted the bard. 

"She takes care of you, yes?" His finger slid over her chin and down her throat, sliding further still until reaching the swell of her breasts under the fabric of her shift. She tried to move away but the damn table was right behind her! Bile rose in my throat and I thought I might vomit right there! This couldn't be happening. It just couldn't! 

Gabrielle didn't answer him. She locked her eyes with his in a last ditch show of confidence that I could tell she didn't feel. 

The bastard changed the direction of his wandering finger and drew it down her side until it came to a suspicious halt at the curve of her hip, the rest of his fingers fanning out to join in as he clamped his hand on her waist. He repeated the motion much more slowly with his other hand and Jirkar snickered behind me. 

"If I were to kill you, little one, how long do you expect I would live?" 

Gabrielle snickered just a little and Phorcys grinned. 

"That's what I thought. And I can't go around dying before I get what I want, now can I? No, what I need is something that will bring her to her knees. Something that will make her crazy enough to make a mistake. And I know just what might do that." 

His right hand clamped down on her waist and he lifted Gabrielle off her feet, hurling her onto her back on the nearest table with a loud smack. 

"NOOOOO!!" I screamed as my guards grabbed me and tried to hold my desperately writhing form. Gabrielle began to scream as well, struggling to get a foothold on the table so she could kick the bastard. Phorcys pinned both of her hands above her head with one massive arm and swept her feet off the table with the other. 

Gabrielle fought him with everything she had, tears streaming down her face, her screams battering me like blows. Her terror was agony to me. Worse than the most horrid and painful of deaths. 

"I love an appreciative audience," laughed Phorcys as he pushed Gabrielle's shift up around her waist and forced her kicking legs wide open. 

Then he unbuckled his leathers. 

* * *

 

_Xena prowled along the edge of the inn, worming her way to the back where she hoped there would be less activity. The front door was gone and there were too many soldiers around it, watching something inside the building that obviously interested them. She knew she could take them. None of them were even remotely aware of her presence. But the risks were too great._

_No. Her tactic here had to be surprise. Gabrielle's life was at stake and it was the one thing she never took chances with. Never._

_She slipped around the corner of the building and smirked. As she thought, only two guards had been assigned to the back door and neither of them were doing any actual guarding. In fact, they were both staring in the window, snickering at whatever it was that they saw. Snippets of their conversation floated to her on the night breeze._

_"Yup, there he goes…"_

_"Smooth… Did ya see tha'?" The round one shoved the taller one affably._

_"…right up to the table…good move…"_

_Xena suspected a contest was being fought. A skills combat maybe? Her men had indulged in similar things after a victory. She stretched her senses outward, letting them roam like tendrils around her. She heard no sounds of combat, even mock combat. Only a low male voice and the muffled click of boots against boards._

_What is so damned interesting, she wondered, discarding the idea of a competition. No one fought that quietly._

_"Lookit…the other one's ancy now…" The taller guard leaned closer to the window, licking his lips hungrily. The round one just grinned a sick little grin, his eyes becoming narrow slits in his obvious pleasure._

_Xena suddenly became edgy, her blood surging like a river through her body. Her mind slid pieces of the puzzle into place, the picture becoming clearer and clearer. Then, wafting on another gentle breeze, the last puzzle piece slammed home. The rancid tang of male lust filled her nostrils._

_"That bard won't be able to stand-" Their conversation ended permanently as Xena's sword sliced through both their necks in one powerful swing. She bolted for the window just as screams erupted from inside. Horrified, she saw Gabrielle spread-eagled on a table with Taren screaming at Phorcys._

_Xena unchained her rage and let its unconquerable power slick through her like an inferno, fed by the dark and slippery oils of anger and hatred. She took two steps backward, then surged forward, exploding through the window in a shower of glass and wood. But it was her bloodcurdling battle yell that really announced her presence._

_The two guards holding the sobbing, wildly jerking chestnut-haired innkeeper were the first to recover and they abandoned their captive, charging at the warrior. Taren-suddenly free-hurtled her screaming body at Phorcys, who had gone completely white at the sight of Xena launching through the window. He was still fumbling nervously with the buckle on his leathers when the innkeeper blindsided him, the two of them falling to the ground in a vicious tangle._

_Xena gutted the pig-faced guard as he came into range, catching his weakening follow-through swing on her bracer and shoving his lifeless body out of her way. The toothless giant managed only slightly better, his sword actually clanging against hers once before her she split him from stomach to snarl with her dagger. His hot blood slithered down her arm for a moment as she held his massive body upright on the point of the smaller weapon, then she jerked her hand back and twisted away, letting the dead weight hurtle past her and into two soldiers trying to flank her._

_Her eyes darted around the room, noting more raiders descending upon her. She dismissed them for the moment, her eyes wanting and finally finding Gabrielle in the chaos. Xena grinned as the bard, using a discarded broom as a makeshift staff, swung the weapon in a complicated series of moves, disarming two men and dumping another on his backside. She was making her way determinedly toward the battle raging on the floor, fiercely discouraging the men who sought to help their fallen leader._

_Xena's grin vanished, though, when she saw a glint of steel on a small point aimed for the bard's heart. She snatched her chakram off her hip and launched it without thinking, the hissing metal disk cleaving the crossbow and the crossbow-wielder in two. She barely had time to catch the weapon on its return flight before eight raiders bore down on her, their swords glittering in the firelight._

_Xena leapt straight up with a ululating cry, tucking her long body at the last second and flipping almost lazily. She dropped like a stone onto the fastest soldier's head, snapping his neck like a dry reed. She pushed off as he dropped beneath her feet and delivered a flurry of face kicks to stunned men who were pulling hard on their speed in an effort to back up._

_Xena let the force of her descent carry her almost to the floor, her knees bending low to the ground, sending her into a crouch. A bristling meathead, incorrectly assessing her move as a fall, watched as his sword and his sword arm both clattered to the floor, neatly sheared off as the warrior woman surged upward again. Her backflip dropped her behind three stunned warriors who failed to turn or even duck before her sword found its deadly mark on each of them._

_She caught the corpse in the middle before it fell and rushed forward with a piercing shriek, using the dead flesh as a shield against a fresh batch of zinging blows that were not particularly well-aimed to begin with. Ducking under the last group's defenses this way, Xena sliced and stabbed her way out of the melee without so much as breaking a sweat._

_When the blows finally stopped, she tossed what was left of the disintegrating body at the last of Gabrielle's attackers, distracting him long enough for the bard to knock him unconscious with a sharp crack to his thick skull. That left the warrior only one last thing to do._

_She turned to find Phorcys and Taren rolling together on the floor amidst frustrated screams and hissed curses. Taren, using her momentum as she rolled, ended up on top of the warlord, straddling his chest with her knees. Startled, the warrior realized Taren had a knife and was desperately trying to force it downward, her hands blocked by the warlord's iron grip. She was growling like a mad dog, tears dripping off of her face, dotting Phorcys' leathers in strange patterns._

_Xena took two steps toward the pair, intending to end the struggle once and for all, when she saw Taren go absolutely rigid._

_Frothing at the mouth, the lanky innkeeper snarled at Phorcys and Xena watched something in the girl snap._

_"You evil…one-eyed…fucking…sonova…WHORE!!"_

_On the last word, Taren unexpectedly pulled the knife upward, out of Phorcys' hands. His one eye widened as he watched the girl tip her head back and howl, the sound so pained that even Xena was startled by it. As the inhuman wail crested, Taren drove her arms down with every last ounce of her strength and plunged the dagger into Phorcys' one remaining eye…and through the back of his head, pinning him to the floor._

_Xena and Gabrielle stared at the incredible scene, the deafening silence broken only by Taren's sobbing and the soft, liquid sound of Phorcys' blood pooling around him. Xena finally took a step toward the girl, who's hands where still desperately clutching the hilt of the dagger._

_"Die…die…die…die…die…" Taren's eyes were clenched shut and she whispered the mantra over and over. Xena set her gore-encrusted sword on the floor quietly and reached a bloody hand out to the girl._

_"Shhh…Taren…"_

_The battered woman flinched at the touch, leaning away from the warrior and keeping her eyes firmly closed._

_"It's okay, Taren," she said in a low voice, halting Gabrielle's quick approach with a raised hand. "It's over now."_

_She raised her tear-streaked face and opened her hazel eyes. Gone was the girl struggling to find herself. In her place sat a woman and a warrior, her eyes now painted with the grim knowledge of her calling and her nature._

_"I couldn't let him do that to her," she whispered evenly._

_Xena gave her arm a gentle squeeze of understanding._

_"Or to you," she continued. "I couldn't let him destroy you like that."_

_"Let go of the dagger, Taren," said Xena softly, blinking tears out of her vision._

_Gabrielle couldn't wait anymore and she rushed over, dropping to a knee next to the innkeeper._

_"She's injured, Xena. I think she has broken ribs."_

_Xena pulled Taren to her and cradled her there, looking up into deep sea-green eyes filled with concern and fear. She reached out to touch the bard's cheek, a single mutinous tear slipping down her face._

_"Are you okay?" she whispered._

_Drowning in the flame-blue eyes now so open to her, Gabrielle could only nod, holding the warrior's hand to her cheek with trembling fingers. A whimper from the injured innkeeper reminded them that they had work to do and Xena's hand dropped slowly away from the bard. A silent agreement passed between them and they both took a deep breath and stood, the warrior easily lifting Taren in her arms._

_With efficiency born of experience, the bard and warrior set about transforming the bloody inn into a makeshift healing center. Once-imprisoned townsfolk, finding themselves rid of their captors, began pouring into the inn, either to seek medical attention or to find loved ones from whom they'd been separated._

_Xena assigned three women to attend the wounded and asked two sturdy young men to keep a promise she had made, giving them directions to the meadow where she'd left Annis. Gabrielle formed a cleaning brigade, assigning several men the task of ridding the inn floor of its gruesome litter._

_"Wait."_

_She stopped them before they could begin, sending an interested gaze around the room. Blood and bodies were everywhere but she didn't see them. She was much more fascinated by the weapons, flung askew where their wielders had dropped them in their deaths…_

_Each blade unsoiled and glittering in the firelight._

 

* * *

 

_Sometime after dawn Xena trudged upstairs and silently opened the door to her room, not wanting to disturb the bard who she knew would still be asleep. Her eyes flicked over the unmade bed, widening when they didn't find what they expected to see. She turned to the left and almost sighed out loud when she found the bard's familiar outline framed in the open window, sunlight streaming in around her._

_Gods, she's beautiful, came the unexpected thought. But the warrior couldn't deny it. Gabrielle **was** beautiful standing there in the window with wild honey, ginger, and peach fingers of light caressing her and giving her the burnished look of a bronze sculpture. Her hair reddened and glowed in the sunshine, spilling sensuously down her back, and Xena found herself thankful that the bard wasn't asleep, even though she knew she must be exhausted. She was glad for the opportunity to let her eyes drink their fill of her, letting her still luminescence soothe her memories and scrub her insides clean of the dark, gritty filth caked there. She was glad, too, that she could do this unnoticed and unseen._

_"How is Taren?" asked Gabrielle softly. Xena closed her eyes, suddenly regretting those endless days spent teaching the bard to use all her senses._

_"She'll be fine. She's sleeping now."_

_Gabrielle nodded but did not turn around. She was dressed in an old shirt that she sometimes slept in, the bottom of it brushing her muscular thighs. The whisper of the rough fabric against the bard's skin made Xena swallow convulsively and suddenly all the things she wanted to say to her-that she had been practicing over and over for candlemarks-evaporated in the searing heat of her insecurities. She decided, instead, to fall back on the only other speech she had practiced._

_"Gabrielle-"_

_"Don't." The word was soft but final._

_Xena paused for a moment, confused, then took a breath to start again._

_"I mean it, Xena," said the bard. "Don't you dare."_

_Each word dropped like a stone into the pit of Xena's stomach and her heart nearly broke on the sharp words until Gabrielle gathered her courage and let the rest of her admonition tumble out of her mouth in a rush._

_"Don't you dare apologize for giving me my dream."_

_Silence. A silence so deep Xena could hear Gabrielle's rapid heartbeat and the conspicuous absence of her breath. Her own heart raced as the bard's words washed through her, filling her with a feeling that was sparkly and entirely unfamiliar, like she had swallowed drunken fireflies. She slowly walked up behind the younger woman and slid her arms around her waist._

_And waited._

_Gabrielle stiffened at the first warm touch then relaxed, molding her body blissfully to the warrior's. Xena brushed her lips across the top of the bard's head then nuzzled her, drawing the sunny scent of her deep into her lungs._

_"Are you gonna turn around?" she asked, her voice low and sultry._

_Gabrielle giggled nervously. "Um…not yet. Is that okay?"_

_Xena tightened her arms and drew her closer. "Yeah, that's okay."_

_The two of them spent long, languid moments watching the sunlight ooze across the town square and puddle between the buildings. Gabrielle trembled from head to foot._

_"Are you scared?" It was just a soft breath tickling her ear but Gabrielle felt her knees go weak and her belly jump. Her eyes fluttered closed and she crossed her arms over Xena's, thinking to steady herself. Instead, the feel of soft skin and smooth, strong muscles beneath her fingers added lightheadedness to the list of her symptoms._

_"Yes," she breathed, tilting her head up and biting her lip when she felt the warrior's intake of breath next to her ear. The clean scent of leather and healing herbs and salve assailed her, not unpleasantly, and she leaned her head closer to Xena's mouth unconsciously._

_"Me too," came the startling admission._

_Gabrielle held her breath and silently made a decision. She turned slowly in the circle of the warrior's arms and looked up into intense indigo eyes._

_"Of this?" she asked innocently, winding her fingers into dark, silken tresses and pulling Xena down, meeting the warrior's warm and tender lips with her own…_

_Gods save me, thought Xena as the light and heat of a thousand suns burst through her soul. She pulled Gabrielle closer and felt the bard's lips part in unbelievable invitation. Xena groaned and deepened the kiss, sinking into the incredibly sensuous sensations, craving this touch like no other. When she finally pulled away, they were both breathing raggedly. A beautiful-if-feral smile tugged at Gabrielle's lips until she saw something amiss in her warrior's eyes._

_"What is it?" she asked, a frown creasing her brow. She reached up and brushed a lock of hair from Xena's eyes._

_"I'm not sure I…" Xena took a small breath to calm her wavering voice. "Not sure I…deserve…this."_

_"Deserve what? Being loved?"_

_Just a nod and sadness in her eyes._

_"You do. Xena, listen to me, you do deserve this." Gabrielle cupped Xena's face in her hands, her green eyes glittering with little watery diamonds._

_"And even if you didn't, it wouldn't matter. I would still love you." She brushed her lips over Xena's, her eyes fluttering closed again with the power of what she was feeling._

_"I will always love you."_

_Their lips met again, this time more demanding as those words freed years of frustrated passion. Heat shimmered around them and through them and when they parted, they were both trembling._

_Never taking her eyes from the cobalt blue that widened in anticipation, Gabrielle covered Xena's hands where they rested on her shoulders and guided them to the ties on her shirt with gentle, insistent pressure. Her hands remained on Xena's as the warrior untied each tie slowly and when they were all undone, she guided Xena's hands to the collar, folding strong, warm fingers around the fabric, gently helping her to draw it apart._

_Xena didn't breathe. Or rather, couldn't. Her heart pounded inside her chest and even her lips trembled. The feel of Gabrielle's small, soft hands guiding her own coarse ones-gods, she felt like she would pass out. It was so profound an offering, so tender and trusting a gift. Xena knew she would spend the rest of her life trying to become worthy of this one moment._

_The shirt finally fell open, baring Gabrielle to her warrior's loving eyes. She wanted to grin as the raven-haired woman let her eyes drift shyly downward. She did grin when they fluttered closed helplessly, accompanied by a small whimper. She set the warrior's hands on the move again, across her collarbone and then downward, feeling hot tingles in the wake of her touch. She moaned, causing the warrior's fingers to jump beneath her own._

_The two sets of hands continued their tormenting trek until Xena felt Gabrielle's fingers tighten as they neared the swell of her breasts. She tried to slow down, thinking that's what the bard needed, but she found her hands guided firmly. She forced herself to relax, wondering if Gabrielle felt the tremors she desperately wanted to hide._

_She hissed when she felt her palms placed over beautiful breasts, the hardened nipples pressing against her. She opened her eyes and tried to focus on Gabrielle, finding the younger woman staring at her intensely, her hair burning fire-red in the golden sunlight._

_Gabrielle lowered her arms to her sides and shrugged. The shirt slid off her shoulders and landed at her feet with a sigh. She reached up and began to pull pins and catches on Xena's armor, letting each piece drop heavily to the floor until the warrior stood before her in just her leathers. Then she took a tiny step back from the warrior and raised eyes made dark by her arousal._

_Xena felt like she was falling and flying all at once, embraced by the deep, shoreless green of those eyes. Suddenly the whole world shifted and the light became brighter and everything became a little clearer._

_This was more than just an amazing, incredible feeling that she had never felt before. This was more than just love…_

_This was completion. This was wholeness. This was tender desire and fierce need. It was hopeful and trusting and healing and terrifying. It was silent and loud at the same time and it took up all the space inside her, pouring out of her eyes and smile. She was acutely aware of wanting what was best for the bard and in return, wanting what was best for herself. And that had always, always been Gabrielle…_

_…who had almost died without knowing that._

_Xena's smile faded like a dream as the sickening memory of Gabrielle lying helpless under Phorcys cut through her mind and soul. She raised a shaking hand to the healing wounds on the bard's shoulder, remembering again the anguish and the fear that had burned in her belly day in and day out while she waited for the antidote to the cruel poison to work. And she remembered the hollowness she felt inside when she thought she had lost the woman she loved to someone else._

_The change in Xena was palpable and Gabrielle looked up into agonized indigo eyes. Hot tears slid down the warrior's cheeks and Gabrielle hurried to brush them away._

_"Shhh…"_

_Xena mouth opened as if to protest and the bard covered it with gentle fingers._

_"It's over now," she whispered, running one finger over Xena's bottom lip. "It's over. Let me bring you home…"_

_The dam walls holding everything inside her collapsed at those words and Xena groaned, her mouth laying siege to Gabrielle's, invading and conquering the tender flesh with abandon. She lifted the bard in her arms and growled when she felt strong legs wrap around her hips. With one arm braced along the bard's spine, her hand wound in strands of honey-gold, and the other along her waist, fingers splayed on her muscular backside, they fell against the wall, their mouths never parting._

_Eventually the kiss began to slow, desperate passion giving way to gentle longing. Xena pulled away from Gabrielle's mouth and let her lips brush across her jawline and then down, nipping and teasing the sensitive skin along her throat and above her pulse point._

_The bard let her head fall back, biting her lip to keep from crying out with joy. After a long moment, she became aware that the kissing had stopped and she opened her eyes…to find herself floating in a sunny Aegean Sea. She let her lips curve into that smile that was Xena's alone, reserved solely for the warrior who had captured her heart._

_No words were needed._

_Their mouths were drawn together in a long, sensuous exploration that ignited a liquid heat inside them both, sending it washing over them in breathless waves. Gabrielle's hips began to rock against Xena, her back arching away from the wall in an effort to get closer to the warrior, strong thighs tightening, bare feet locking, holding on. Before she realized what she was doing, Xena began to rock back, the connection of leather and bare skin driving them both mad with need. They moaned into each other's open mouths._

_Gabrielle pulled her kiss-roughened lips away reluctantly and suddenly Xena's whole world narrowed to two small hands. Hands that tugged insistently on the straps of her leathers. Hands that slipped underneath that last physical barrier between them, creating fire and storms in her blood. Hands that untied the knots of restraint inside her and removed the choking strands of bone and death from around her heart. Hands that made her free._

_Xena was utterly lost, caught in a tempest so powerful and so exquisite she could no longer stand. She fell into the bed with Gabrielle, their mouths crashing together in a kiss deep enough to drown in. Xena welcomed that fate._

_Gabrielle rolled like the sea underneath the warrior, flipping them both over so that she was on top. She tipped her head back and growled as Xena's long fingers closed around her waist, steadying her as she began to move against hips still deliciously covered in leather. Never ever had she felt anything so right, so perfect._

_Shuddering, her face flushed and smiling, she reached for one of Xena's hands, bringing it to her lips. She kissed the warrior's open palm and then grazed it with her teeth, delighting in the shivers she felt all along her thighs, some her own and some Xena's. Inspired, she took two long fingers inside her mouth, curling her tongue around them, suckling them, running her teeth along their sensitive ridges. She was rewarded with a strangled gasp from beneath her._

_"Gabrielle…"_

_Gabrielle let the warrior's fingers slip from her mouth slowly. Then she set about stripping her of her leathers and boots. She wanted bare skin against her, wanted to feel that heat and passion she'd been dreaming of. She kissed every inch of bronze skin as it was revealed, her tongue skating in little searing patterns that rendered Xena deliriously helpless._

_The warrior's hands slipped through the bard's hair and down her back, kneading and clutching, unstillable in the face of this erotic assault. She reveled in the tremors she felt in the play between solid muscle and infinitely soft skin. And when they wandered lower, slipping over Gabrielle's lovely backside, a hiss of pleasure and the instant capture of both her wrists startled her._

_"Not yet, my warrior," breathed the bard, imprisoning Xena's hands above her head. "You first." Her mouth hovered above one dark, hardened nipple that ached under warm breath. "I need you first."_

_Xena arched upward, wanting to feel that silken mouth on her skin so badly she would have done anything the bard had asked. Anything. She whimpered when the bard teased her for a long, tremulous moment, keeping her hot, wet mouth just above the throbbing flesh. Then she cried out, silky warmth enveloping her, Gabrielle's tongue circling and finally tugging on her nipple. She gasped as nimble fingers mirrored the sensation on her other breast._

_Xena bit her lip and her hips surged upward, legs opening of their own accord. Her need had become desperate. Her aching, pulsing core demanded besiegement, hungered for invasion._

_"Gabrielle, please…" she begged, a small space of her mind marveling at the ease of that action._

_"Please what?" rasped the bard, her mouth now ministering to the other breast with equal enthusiasm. Her voice was deep and rough with her own unsated desire and it rumbled through Xena's sternum like a drove of wild mustangs._

_"Gods…take me…or kill me…please…" She writhed under the bard's torture, her hips bucking harder. The white-hot pounding in her loins was both excruciating and unimaginably wonderful._

_Gabrielle stilled over the warrior, gazing at her until unfocused cerulean eyes opened and gazed back at her, filled with fear and hunger._

_"Don't hold back, my love. I want everything you have to give. Promise me."_

_Xena licked her lips and nodded._

_"Good," whispered the bard, tipping her head and touching her lips to Xena's. At the first gentle touch, Xena responded slowly. But then Gabrielle's kiss became more demanding, her tongue begging entry into the warrior's mouth, battling for control once inside. As the kiss once again deepened beyond anything she had ever experienced before, Xena groaned and three long fingers plunged into her hot, slick center._

_"By the gods," breathed Gabrielle, plunging again into the warrior's slick depths, feeling the shock of the sensations even in her own aching center. She dropped her forehead onto Xena's taught, straining abdomen to steady herself, her mouth absently kissing and licking salty skin._

_"You are so beautiful…oh, Xena…so sweet…" Her tongue dipped into the warrior's navel, eliciting another strangled cry. Her lips traveled further down, tasting every flavor, learning every texture until they were close to the source of the raging waters that poured over her hand._

_She dove in, her tongue finding the throbbing nub she sought, driving against it over and over. She drank the thick honey that flowed beneath her lips, wondering if she could get drunk off of it. She certainly felt drunk from something._

_She plunged her fingers deeper into the warrior and harder, feeling muscles tighten beneath her, feeling the surging, rising tide nearing its crest. She knew it wouldn't be long now…for either of them. Her own center throbbed in time with the pulsing beneath her fingers._

_Xena couldn't see, couldn't breathe, couldn't hear… Her blood crashed in her ears with a deafening roar and she saw only exploding stars behind her eyelids, rationally aware that she was starved for air. She didn't care. She was close, so close…_

_Please… Oh gods, please…_

_Her hips drove upward and her hands gripped the slats of the headboard so tightly her knuckles were white with the strain. Then she felt it, felt the tide beginning to crest inside her._

_"Yes…" breathed Gabrielle against her wetness. "I love you so much, Xena."_

_Every muscle in the warrior's body became rigid as the two of them waited that small measure of time between the crest and the crash of a tsunami…_

_One more plunge into her depths and Xena released her soulcry, the battered slats cracking as her hands clutched against the power of her orgasm._

_Gabrielle groaned as the flood waters raged beneath her mouth and her tongue danced in the deluge, drawing out the warrior's release as long as possible. She finally pulled her mouth away, leaving her fingers inside, and cried out as she slipped the fingers of her other hand between her own legs. Her concurrent release denied, she was determined to finish the job herself._

_Strong, corded fingers grasped her wrist._

_"No," said Xena hoarsely, still breathless. She flipped the bard onto her back and covered her writhing body with her own, pulling hard nipples into her hot mouth._

_Gabrielle cried out with ecstatic frustration and opened her legs wide, crossing them over grinding hips, trying to force Xena harder into her. The warrior moved her lips close to her lover's ear, one hand sliding between their bodies._

_"Please take me inside you," she breathed. Her heart hammered inside her and she felt herself rocking in time with the young woman, their bed becoming the bowl of earth to contain their churning, turbulent sea._

_"Gods…yes…"_

_The bard folded her fingers around Xena's and guided them to her core. With a desperate cry, she pressed the long, long fingers inside her and Xena sank into her depths as helpless and inevitable as stone. Her hand, wrist still grasped by slender fingers, dove deeper and deeper as thunder shook them and her bard-sea crashed against her again and again._

_The bard's body was on overload. Her breath came in gasping sobs and she growled with every plunge inside her. She felt herself losing control and she never wanted this feeling to end._

_"Oh…gods…Xena…please…please…gods…Xena…now!"_

_Xena obeyed the order of the mistress of her heart and slipped another finger inside, driving into Gabrielle with all the power of her love, releasing the lightning bolts caged inside her…_

_Gabrielle screamed as the power of the released lightning coursed through her, shaking her to her very core. She continued to press Xena's hand inside her over and over and she felt her own slick juices on her fingers, renewing her hunger._

_"Don't stop," she hissed and Xena, slightly startled by her bard's raging sexual need, hesitated for only a moment before groaning and plunging inside again with renewed strength. She kissed and sucked on the bard's pulse point, which fluttered beneath her lips like a hummingbird's wings._

_"Sweet gods!" cried the bard, feeling the almost painful nip of teeth on her skin._

_Xena's last defenses capsized and she let go, thrusting deeper and harder, pressing her mouth against the bard's collarbone until she tasted the familiar metallic tang of blood. She pulled her lips away, gazing at the purple mark blooming on the bard's skin with feral pride._

_"Come for me, Gabrielle…come hard…"_

_"Yes…oh!…Yessss…"_

_Gabrielle's entire body arched and her core pulsed powerfully around Xena's fingers, keeping time with both their pounding hearts._

_Xena collapsed against her love, struggling for breath, her fingers still and deep inside her. She rested her head on Gabrielle's heaving abdomen, feeling her heart overflow with emotion after emotion, never wanting this moment to end. She cast herself adrift in their gentling waves until much, much later she found herself washed upon the bard's shore._

 

* * *

 

_Xena opened her eyes to a room bathed in amber light, an evening breeze dancing through the open window. The smoky, rich scents of cooking fires and of freshly plowed earth came in on the breeze and she propped herself on one elbow and looked out the window, watching as solemn villagers went through the motions of their evening rituals._

_She realized the smell of plowed earth meant new graves and she felt a momentary pang of guilt that she wasn't out there helping to rebuild this tiny, battered village that had suffered so much at the hands of her enemy. But the guilt disappeared quietly with the sigh that issued from the slightly open mouth of the woman spooned against her._

_A small smile edged Xena's mouth and she ducked her head, kissing Gabrielle on the temple. One question strolled lazily through her mind…_

_Why did we wait so long for this?_

_Looking back after such an incredible morning, it was hard to remember the depth of her fears. Had they really clutched at her heart, making it hard to breathe? Had they really had the power to block out even the stars, keeping her in darkness all that time? It seemed ridiculous now. And so far away._

_A bigger grin broke across the warrior's face as she contemplated the soft curves of the bard's sleeping features._

_I can't believe I was ever afraid of loving you, she thought, dropping her dark head to deliver another tender kiss. A hesitant knock at the door interrupted her._

_She looked up, annoyed, and toyed with the idea of saying nothing, knowing Annis-whose footsteps she had heard all the way down the hall-would not be likely to barge in on a sleeping Warrior Princess. Instead, she tugged a blanket over herself and Gabrielle and entwined her long legs with the bard's shorter ones in an impulsive possessive display._

_"Come in."_

_The plank door cracked open the tiniest bit, two big brown eyes peering in nervously. Xena rested her head on one hand and motioned for Annis to come in-quietly-with the other. The door opened wider to reveal the blushing girl and the basket she carried._

_"Something wrong? Is it Taren?" Xena was having entirely too much fun watching the girl try to keep her interested eyes from roaming all over the bed. Her face, already red, deepened a shade or two as Xena laid her hand on Gabrielle's shoulder._

_"Annis?"_

_The girl jumped. "Oh…um, no. She's fine. Um…resting. She…uhh…sent food."_

_The warrior could barely keep from laughing. She was in a really great mood and for some reason teasing this girl only added to her mirth. She began to run her fingers slowly up and down Gabrielle's arm. The sleeping bard purred with delight and Annis' eyes widened to the size of dinars._

_"You can leave it on the table," said Xena, directing the girl with a tilt of her head. "We'll eat later," she added wickedly._

_Xena thought the girl might faint right there. She rushed to set the basket on the table and whirled around, almost knocking a chair over as she ran from the room. The door shut firmly behind her._

_The warrior shook her head, her whole body shaking with silent laughter. The hand that had been caressing Gabrielle's arm lay forgotten on the bard's side._

_"Hey," came a sleepy mumble. "Who said you could stop?"_

_Xena wondered for a moment what Gabrielle was referring to, then chuckled and ran her fingertips over smooth skin._

_"Oh you like that, do you?" she asked, nuzzling red-gold hair._

_"Mmmhmmm…" A sweet smile curved rosy lips, but green eyes stubbornly refused to open. For a long moment Xena thought the bard had gone back to sleep. Then, so softly she almost didn't hear it, Gabrielle whispered, "I am so in love with you."_

_Unexpected and very unwanted tears flooded the warrior's eyes and she shut them behind clenched eyelids, willing them away._

_"And I love you, my bard," she said, kissing the top of the red head tucked snugly beneath her chin. "I'm sorry," she added. "I'm so sorry that I never told you that."_

_"You're doing just fine now. Keep up the good work," smiled Gabrielle. When she didn't hear the chuckle she expected, the bard forced her eyes open and craned her head to see Xena's pained expression._

_"Xena?"_

_The warrior opened stinging eyes. It was all crashing down inside her and she couldn't stop it, couldn't fight it, couldn't make it just go away._

_"He was going to…gods, he would have…" Her voice cracked and she was unable to finish, the very words unutterable._

_"No, Xena," said Gabrielle, turning quickly in Xena's arms, putting her hands on either side of the warrior's grief-stricken face, her thumbs caressing away tears as fast as they fell. "Shhh…you stopped him. It's okay…it's okay now…"_

_"Taren stopped him!" said Xena fiercely. "I made him! I tortured him until he became a monster! Before that night in the camp he was just another captain, just another soldier. He never raped! He never even took the willing girls that flocked around the other men like flies. Don't you see? It's my fault!"_

_Gabrielle tightened her lips, realizing that she had to choose her next words very carefully._

_"Perhaps…you did make him, Xena…" She winced seeing the deep hurt in those tearful blue eyes. "…but not by torturing him. I think he…broke…inside before you ever laid a finger on him."_

_"What?" The warrior's tears trickled to a stop and her brows knitted in confusion. "How?"_

_"I think he loved you."_

_There, she said it. Now she could only wait for the aftermath, whatever that would be._

_It turned out to be incredulity._

_"What?!"_

_Gabrielle let out a breath she wasn't aware she was holding. Remembering the story Xena had told her after the ambush, she tried to explain._

_"Think about it. Okay first, he never raped and he never took the willing girls. He wore your colors even after you ordered him not to. You said he even stayed with the army after you humiliated him, demoted him, and whipped him. Why? Why would he do that?"_

_Xena didn't answer, her eyes far off, remembering small things, tiny things that suddenly had new meaning._

_"And didn't you tell me," continued the green-eyed woman gently, "that he slit the throats of the others he killed that night?"_

_A distracted nod was her answer._

_"But he aimed for **your** heart."_

_He had, of course. Xena had never thought about it, more concerned that her soldier had tried to kill her, more concerned that he be dealt with. Could Gabrielle be right? Had Phorcys loved her? Had it been a wish to cut her unresponsive heart from her body instead of revenge for her cruel treatment of him that had motivated him to kill that night?_

_She sighed. "I never-"_

_"-even thought about it," finished the bard. "I know. Thank the gods some of us sufferers of unrequited Warrior Princess love still have our blood innocence. Otherwise the line to see Hades would be very long right now." Her eyes gleamed with unrepentant humor._

_"Oh really?" chuckled the warrior as the bard turned again and snuggled backwards, pressing her smaller body along the length of her lover's. "And how many would you have sent to Hades without your blood innocence to protect them?"_

_"After three years of wanting you so bad even my hair hurt from the tension? Are you kidding? At least four thousand. Maybe five."_

_Xena laughed, the joyous sound filling the room. She wrapped her arm around the bard's abdomen and pulled her closer, nuzzling her neck and placing soft, delighted kisses along the muscles of the shoulder beneath her._

_"What did I ever do to deserve you?" she asked wonderingly._

_"Oh, the usual," whispered Gabrielle, enjoying the way Xena's mouth felt on her body. "You were born."_

_"That's all?" The warrior whispered that in the bard's sensitive ear, following up with a gentle series of nibbles on the lobe. Gabrielle's hand reached up to cup Xena's face, strong fingers tangling in generous amounts of dark hair._

_"Pretty much, yeah," she whispered, her pulse fluttering beneath the warrior's roaming lips. "Though it helps that you're incredibly…mnmm…yummy."_

_The bard froze in the warrior's embrace the instant the words left her mouth. Then she buried her head in her hands, blushing crimson from head to foot._

_"I can't believe I just said that," she squeaked._

_"Neither can I," growled Xena, fingers darting to ticklish places on pale skin._

_"NO! NO! NO!" squealed Gabrielle, wriggling wildly. "Stop that! Do what you were doing before!"_

_"What? This?" Xena brushed her fingers up and down the bard's side in slow, soft strokes, her lips finding a tender bit of skin behind her ear._

_"Yeah…that…" breathed the redhead, a contented purr rumbling throughout her body. Her eyes closed in reflex to the wonderful sensuality she was experiencing._

_"I have a better idea," murmured Xena. Long, elegant fingers slid down Gabrielle's smooth side, over the curve of her hip, across her taut belly and down…to a certain…spot._

_Gabrielle's eyes snapped open._

_"Ohhh," she moaned as the warrior dipped a fingertip inside her flooded cleft, exploring gently. She cried out when the sensation stopped and arched her back, seeking more of that touch. Xena's hand slipped lightly up the outside of her thigh and then lazily downward to fondle the sloping, muscled curve of her backside._

_Gabrielle felt the warrior press up behind her, noting how very hot her skin felt against her own. Then a glorious request came from cranberry lips._

_"Tuck your knees, sweetheart."_

_The bard, still lying on her side, did as asked and pulled her knees up towards her chest. She felt Xena's fingers on the backs of her thighs and was blissfully aware of the almost unbearable ache that consumed her core. Hot, wet lips trailed across her collarbone and up her throat._

_And just before she cried out in desperation, two incredibly long fingers slid inside her silken center._

_"Better?" asked Xena. Gabrielle could feel the hammering heartbeat behind her and she arched her back, trying to force the fingers further inside._

_"Much…much…better," answered the bard, struggling for breath as fingers slowly and softly plunged deeply into her. Her breath caught as a third exquisite finger was added. Then suddenly the pace was far too slow to match the raging flows of lava coursing through her._

_"Faster," she breathed. "Please…"_

_"Oh gods, yes…" was the warrior's only answer as she willingly surrendered herself to the bard's desires._

_Later-much, much later-after the pair had eaten, bathed together, and finally snuggled back into bed, entwined around each other so closely that space enough for a breath of air to pass between them did not exist, Gabrielle pulled away from a deep and lazy kiss and looked up into Xena's eyes which flickered almost silver in the firelight._

_"I'm worried about Taren," she said simply._

_"She's strong, Gabrielle. Her ribs-"_

_"No, it's not that. I'm sure her ribs will heal in no time. I'm just worried about what will happen to her when we leave. She's apprenticed to her brother and-"_

_"Her brother's dead," said Xena quietly, silver eyes darkening to deep gray. "The smith found him sometime before dawn. I told Taren. Thought it would be better for her to hear it from me."_

_"Gods! What will she do?" Sadness filled the bard's eyes._

_"Keep the inn, I guess. It's hers now."_

_Gabrielle shook her head. "No, she hates this inn. She would never be happy here."_

_Something in the bard's voice indicated that she had other ideas. Other ideas she had probably puzzled over long and hard. Other ideas she was dying to tell Xena all about._

_"And do you know where she would be happy, my bard?" asked the warrior, brushing full lips across brows knitted in thought._

_"Well, I've been thinking," began Gabrielle, making excited hand gestures against Xena's strong, muscled back as she explained her plan._

_Xena grinned and let the bard's silky voice unfold around her, winding herself in words and inflections that were like a fluid music that she could actually feel on her skin and in her blood. The plan was unimportant, really. Xena knew the bard's idea would be a good one. They always were._

_No, the truly important thing was that her body was wrapped around the woman she loved. And the voice that for so long had cradled her heart in its warm tones from across every campfire they had ever shared now drifted to her waiting ears from less than a hand's breadth away._

_Thank the gods._

 

* * *

 

They stayed for four more days. 

Four days that I spent sequestered in my room while they learned about each other in ways I tried very hard not to think about, out of respect. Four quiet days that showed me more of the gentle healer in Xena and more of the talented storyteller in Gabrielle as they both visited me regularly to keep me from jumping out of my own window from boredom. 

Four days that earned them a place in Galasia's history and heart forever. 

Takis came to me one evening after dinner and told me some of the most amazing stories. Stories about Xena rebuilding my inn's door and digging my brother's grave, dismissing any offers of assistance with a diffident grunt. Tales of a pair of legends visiting every household in the village to see what aid could be offered to end suffering or mend damage. 

Most of the families declined the offers out of pride. But a few let the warrior and the bard help mend what they could-an uprooted fence here, a broken leg there. I suspected those who accepted the help did it more because they wanted to ease whatever feelings of guilt the women harbored about the attack than because they actually needed the help. 

It worked quite well. 

At dawn on the fifth day, the day they were to leave, I had had enough of the sick bed and I sneaked down to the stables. My ribs were more bruised than broken and I had been cooped up for far too long. Not even Gabrielle's stories of the Amazons, whom she insisted she really did know, could dispel the utter stillness of that boxy little plank-walled pit. 

Besides, I needed to be the one who readied Argo for their journey. I didn't know why exactly, just that I needed to do it and that seemed to be enough of a reason. 

It was warm, even at such an early hour, but a cool edge to the breeze that tickled me warned that summer was nearing its end. I grinned as I dipped the bucket in the water barrel, thinking of the fall and harvest time and of new possibilities. Thinking of traveling north towards a thread of destiny I was only now becoming aware of. 

I kept that thought with me as I entered the stables. 

"Hey, girl," I whispered in response to Argo's whickered greeting. "Thirsty?" 

The horse tossed her head and snorted amiably and I held the bucket for her while she drank her fill. When she was done I put the bucket at my feet and presented two apples I had pilfered off my dinner tray the night before. As she munched, I set about making her ready to ride. 

It took me the better part of a candlemark to brush her down, primarily because I shamelessly procrastinated. I joyfully spent more time than necessary on her mane and tail, making them gleam in the dim light now creeping into the stable. I briefly thought about braiding the long strands of coarse, silvery hair but thought better of it. Somehow I knew Xena wouldn't be amused, even in light of the new yet quiet playfulness that seemed to be tentatively poking its head out of a recently cracked shell. 

I finished currying and tossed a saddle blanket across Argo's back, smoothing and centering it carefully. Then I had an uneasy moment with the bit and halter, feeling a definite twinge in my side as I reached up to settle them. I took a deep breath and braced myself in preparation for lifting the saddle, knowing the twinge would become full-fledged pain but not really caring. Just before I committed my muscles to the job, however, two incredibly long arms appeared on either side of my own, strong hands grasping the saddle and lifting it neatly onto Argo's back. 

I kept my back to Xena and willed her not to say anything. I just wanted a moment more to pretend. To believe that today wouldn't be the last day I would ever see them. I sighed, realizing the futility of it, and a hand clasped my shoulder in silent understanding. 

"Just tell me one thing, won't you?" I turned, forestalling whatever the reticent warrior might say, hoping my rueful grin hid the tears I could feel stinging the corners of my eyes. 

"Sure." 

"What is it about her that makes us leap between her and the danger that seems to follow her everywhere? I just don't understand it." I rubbed my side to emphasize my point. 

A snort of startled laughter and a twinkling of blue eyes were my only reward.

 

* * *

 

They headed south. 

After Annis and I had fed them and loaded them down with whatever we thought might be useful to them, that is. And after Gabrielle had hugged me with a fierceness that I suspected would be burned in my memory for the rest of my life. 

"I'm going to write a story about what you did, Taren. You know that, right?" 

"For doing my duty, M'Lady? A waste of parchment," I teased, noting the oddly pleased look she favored me with. It was gone an instant later, replaced with a smirk. 

"I don't think you ever once called me 'Gabrielle'. Not the entire time we've been here." 

"And why would I when calling you 'M'Lady' pleases you so?" I answered in my best sycophantic tone, grinning mischievously. The bard rolled her eyes and laughed. 

"Yeah, right." 

I turned to Xena and smiled. The warrior clasped arms with me in farewell, still grinning at the playful exchange. 

"Take care, friend," she said evenly, eyes intent. 

"You too, friend," I replied, nodding slightly in response to the silent look that said so much more. "You both are always welcome here." 

"Thanks," she said, gratitude warming the simple word. 

Then they were gone. Just like that. 

And I was alone again. 

It wasn't long, however, before I ended up where it had all begun, the tall tree swaying in the gentle wind with a definite air of knowing something I didn't. And as I climbed just a few branches into the rustling canopy, I found out why. 

A small sack hung just above the leaf line, impaled there by a dagger. 

Hesitantly, I fingered the knife, recognizing it instantly as the blade that I had used to kill Phorcys. His own favorite chiseled bone dagger. That I had thought burned with his body. I shuddered. 

Leaving it alone for the moment, I opened the sack and reached inside, pulling out several objects. The first item was a small square of parchment, neatly folded. The second was a scroll, sealed with wax, an unfamiliar sigil used to mark it as official in some way. The third item was a small leather pouch heavy with brightly jingling coins. 

I started with the folded parchment, surmising correctly that it was a letter from Gabrielle. It read:

_Taren,_

_I thought you should know that there is another reason why I will be writing your story. I was serious about that, you know. And not just because I'm a bard._

_It has something to do with why calling me 'M'Lady' made me so uncomfortable too. You see you weren't really off the mark there, though I'm still trying to get used to it all. And titles make me a little nervous._

_I'm rambling, aren't I? I'm sorry. I have a tendency to do that. Anyway…_

_I'm an Amazon Queen._

_Okay, it seems really strange to write that down, like it makes it all somehow more real. And I would explain it all to you, but it is a very long story and Xena is giving me that look, like 'Hurry it up, will you!' So I guess I should just get to my point._

_I don't know what you want out of life really but I know it isn't your brother's inn. I had an idea about this. You remind me of the me I was a long time ago. Waiting for the chance to get out of a small village and into the real world._

_Xena gave me my chance. I think it is only the right thing to do to give you yours._

_The sealed scroll is a letter to the Amazon Regent, Ephiny. It recommends you for initiation into the Amazon Nation. I don't know if that is something you'd want, but if it is, they will welcome you. I really think you would be happy there. And you certainly have the skills._

_If you decide to go, remember what I told you about approaching the border and be sure to give Ephiny a hug from me. We won't be up there again until Solstice, I imagine._

_Well, I'd better go now. Xena is looking at me like I have lost my mind._

_Thank you for everything that you did for us, Taren. We will never forget you. And neither will the Nation, no matter what you choose. The story I write will be part of the official histories and kept in the scroll library there._

_Take care, my friend, and I really hope we will see you at Solstice._

_Gabrielle_

I blinked. 

I blinked again. 

I ran my fingers over the seal on the scroll, seeing for the first time the Shield of Artemis pressed into the dark green wax. It all made so much more sense now. Everything settled with a little click and the threads of my destiny instantly began to dominate the fabric of my life. 

I looked back down at the letter with round eyes and saw something I had missed. A hastily scrawled note at the bottom. It said: 

**The dinars are what we owe. I won't take them back. So don't try it, okay?**

**The knife is yours by rights.**

**Thank you.**

**X**

 

* * *

I headed north. 

After Annis had fed me and loaded me down with whatever she thought might be useful to me, that is. And after I hugged her with a fierceness that I suspected would be burned in her memory for the rest of her life. 

But before I went, I buried that hateful dagger-that was mine by rights, yes, but that I never, ever wanted to see again-in the brand-new door of my brother's inn and set the place on fire. Watching, with a heart finally free, as flames consumed the little dark building in the lemony light of dawn, destroying it utterly until it was nothing more than a heap of charred bones and fading memories. 

Then I settled my bow and my pack over my shoulder and started for home.

 

 

_**fin** _

* * *

 

Note from the author: 

The title of this story comes from the song below. It is really Taren's song, but I see a little wisdom for Xena and Gabrielle in it, too. 

 

* * *

**Something More Than This** by Julie Flanders  & Emil Adler  
© 1995 October Project Publishing. All rights reserved.  
_From the album entitled "Falling Farther In"_

In the shadow cast as you were leaving  
In the beauty of the ending day  
There is always something to return to  
Something you allow to slip away 

In the empty corners of the evening  
In the vacant beauty of the wind  
There is always something to remember  
Something to remember, to begin 

I need no shelter  
I need no guide  
I'll be alone on this long, dark ride  
Tonight 

     _Whatever you fear_  
_Whatever you hide_  
_Whatever you carry deep inside_  
_There's something more than this_

     _Whatever you love_  
_Whatever you give_  
_Whatever you think you need to live_  
_There's something more than this_

In the shadow cast as you were leaving  
In the beauty of the ending day  
There is always something to believe in  
Something…as I watch you slip away 

I need no shelter  
I need no guide  
I'll be alone on this long, dark ride  
Tonight 

     _Whatever you fear…_

 

 


End file.
